“President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing this, the RadioShack CEO said, 'I'm shocked to find out we still sell something people want.'” PeopleWantSaidStillsHousePresidentWhiteSellsHearingYesterdayWhite HousePresident ObamaCeoShockedFenceFlewDrones Author:Conan O'Brien
“At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.” MadeStatesLastsNightReadingPresidentSpeechUnionsAddressesPresident ObamaLast NightTransgenderBisexualCraigslist Author:Conan O'Brien
“A congressman sent a tweet that compared president Obama to Adolf Hitler. He has now apologized. It's not helping that he apologized to Hitler.” HelpingPresidentPresident ObamaTweetCongressman Author:Conan O'Brien
“A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.” PresidentCareersHigherRidiculousCompareTexasPresident ObamaApprovalTweetRatingCongressmanApproval Rating Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama announced that he's going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie about Castro.” WantPresidentRelationPresident ObamaCubaDiplomaticCastroDiplomatic Relations Author:Conan O'Brien
“This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power and the future king of England.” RealPresidentMorningKingsMetsOfficeEnglandMeetingsBritainPresident ObamaRulersSymbolicReal PowerOval Author:Conan O'Brien
“Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.” CountryNightPresidentPlansTomorrowTiredImmigrationPresident Obama Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.” StatesNationsPresidentPoorUnitedUnited StatesAidsBillionsPresident ObamaPoor Nations Author:Conan O'Brien
“The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.” TryingYearsHas BeensSaidPastHousePresidentWhiteSecretHalfFiveFive YearsWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceJumpingIncidentsOther HalfSecret ServiceIntruders Author:Conan O'Brien
“People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a rapper. Then again, to be fair, in China I look like a rapper.” PeopleLooksPresidentEconomicFairsChinaPresident ObamaRapperEnteringSummitGumChewingBeijingChewing Gum Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'” SaidFacesPresidentSawsNiceEconomicChinaFriendlyPresident ObamaSummitPutinAttendingMidtermsFriendly Faces Author:Conan O'Brien
“For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set. This country never turns against a black anything.'” FirstsHas BeensCountryTurnsBlackPresidentRepublicanFirst TimeCongressPresident Obama Author:Conan O'Brien
“Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls are predicting that after tonight Barack Obama will still be president of the United States.” ThinkingStillsStatesPresidentUnitedUnited StatesElectionBarackTonightPresident ObamaPollsKimPredictingMidtermsMidterm Elections Author:Conan O'Brien
“Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.” RunningPresidentCitiesRecordsNew YorkDemocratYesterdayCandidatesNew York CityPresident ObamaRunning AwayMarathon Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'” SaidPresidentWifeTrumpBirthPicksPresident ObamaKenyaCertificatesBirth Certificate Author:David Letterman
“It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.” EnoughMovingGuyPresidentCitiesWifeNew YorkFinishedNew York CityPresident ObamaGridlock Author:David Letterman
“President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.” IfsTryingSaidTogetherPresidentDealsRepublicanLettersWork OutNuclearIranPresident ObamaThey SaidFranco Author:David Letterman
“One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.” PresidentWaterDogCompetitionRelatedFuneralPresident ObamaPortuguese Author:David Letterman
“President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.” HousePresidentGoneTomorrowGolfSpendingHolidayPresident ObamaPopeFenceHawaiiCastroPlaying GolfJumpers Author:David Letterman
“You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.” MenYearsHas BeensStillsStatesHomeBigsPresidentUnitedDealsUnited StatesFiveHeardFive YearsPrisonerPresident ObamaCubaBudBack HomeApprovedHavana Author:David Letterman
“Once you're president, you can't go anywhere without causing trouble. President Obama shows up in China, he's chewing gum, they go crazy. A big stink because the president's chewing gum. And you think, the Chinese are so easygoing about human rights. What's the problem?” ThinkingHumansShowsProblemBigsPresidentRightsTroubleCrazyHuman RightsChinaChinesePresident ObamaStinkGumChewingChewing GumCausing Trouble Author:David Letterman
“President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.” RunningEvilPresidentChinaGirlfriendPresident ObamaVacationDictatorExesPutinEx GirlfriendYour Ex Author:David Letterman
“President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.” KidsTodayPresidentChinaPresident ObamaCellphone Author:David Letterman
“What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.” PresidentPresident ObamaGloomy Author:David Letterman
“President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.” IfsYearsTwoLeftPresidentHusbandTwo YearsPresident Obama Author:David Letterman
“President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.” WorldGuyLostPresidentHoursSecretMillionsRecordsFiveMonthsTrackFollowingAgentsBrokeFollowersPresident ObamaSecret ServiceWorld RecordsFollowers On Twitter Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'” SaidPresidentInternetAccountsWelcomePresident ObamaMccainGrandpa Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.” WayHousePresidentWhiteRolesModelsYesterdayGatesWhite HouseRole ModelsPresident ObamaTomsCigaretteScandalNoonGolfingWeighingBradyWeekdays Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Senate Democrats blocked President Obama's trade bill yesterday because they're worried it could hurt jobs. It's not an issue for Republicans, since they've all found work as presidential candidates.” JobsFoundPresidentHurtIssuesRepublicanTradeBillsDemocratYesterdayWorriedPresidentialCandidatesPresident ObamaSenateBlockedPresidential Candidate Author:Jimmy Fallon
“In celebration of Mother's Day yesterday, President Obama called three moms who had written him letters. Then kids who made their mom a macaroni necklace said, 'Thanks, Obama.'” MadeSaidKidsMotherThreePresidentWrittenMomLettersYesterdayThanksPresident ObamaCelebrationMothers DayNecklacesMacaroni Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Many believe that Hillary Clinton was channeling President Obama during her recent speech in New York City. She focused on equality, justice, and how hard it was for her growing up as a young black man in Hawaii.” MenBelieveHardYoungBlackPresidentJusticeCitiesGrowing UpGrowingNew YorkSpeechClintonFocusedNew York CityPresident ObamaHawaiiChanneling Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Tomorrow President Obama will host NASCAR racing champion Kevin Harvick at the White House. They both said they look forward to spending an hour or two not having the slightest interest in what the other is saying.” LooksSaidTwoHousePresidentInterestHoursWhiteTomorrowSpendingChampionWhite HouseRacingHostPresident ObamaKevinNascarNascar Racing Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday President Obama traveled to Jamaica, where he will meet with students and Caribbean leaders. Jamaica's such a beautiful place, Obama says he can't wait to just take it all in, hold it for several seconds, and then exhale.” BeautifulWaitingPresidentLeaderStudentsYesterdaySecondsPresident ObamaTraveledCaribbeanBeautiful PlacesJamaica Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd expect - telling people, 'Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz.'” PeopleFirstsMadeStatesPlayPresidentLike YouJazzPresidentialPresident ObamaUtah Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama has reduced the sentences of 22 federal prisoners who were arrested for drug-related crimes - eight of whom were serving life sentences. It marks the first time someone has said 'Thanks Obama' but actually meant it.” FirstsSaidPresidentCrimeDrugFirst TimeMarkEightSentencesThanksRelatedServingPrisonerPresident ObamaArrested Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he's ever been to Kenya, Obama said, 'Of course. I was born - no, bored - over there. There's nothing to do in Kenya.'” IfsSaidCoursesHousePresidentBornWhiteBoredWhite HousePresident ObamaSummitJulyKenya Author:Jimmy Fallon
“There are reports that President Obama and his family may move to New York City after his term is over. Unfortunately, the city is so expensive, he's looking for another ex-president to be roommates with.” MayMovingPresidentTermCitiesNew YorkExpensiveReportsNew York CityPresident ObamaExesRoommate Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'” IfsKnowsSaidHousePresidentWhiteWonderDatingYesterdayExpertsWhite HousePresident ObamaSeptemberPopeDisagreementContraceptionBiden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama recently sat down with ESPN and said the NCAA should reduce the shot clock for basketball games. Then he said, 'And while we're at it, is there any way they can reduce the 'being president clock?'” WayShouldSaidGamesPresidentBasketballShotsClockSatPresident ObamaBasketball GameNcaaEspn Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During his weekly address to the nation, President Obama discussed higher education and said, 'The most important skill you can sell is your knowledge.' Or as English majors working at Starbucks put it, 'No it's not.'” SaidImportantNationsPresidentHigherSkillsMajorsSellsAddressesPresident ObamaHigher EducationStarbucksEnglish Major Author:Jimmy Fallon
“This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.” PresidentSupportSpeechClubsDinnerPresident ObamaWeekendGetting OldGetting OlderAnnualsGridiron Author:Jimmy Fallon
“A tell-all book by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's former strategists, reveals that Obama chose Joe Biden as his VP because of his energy and enthusiasm. You know, the qualities you look for in someone whose main job is traveling to state funerals.” KnowsLooksBookStatesJobsEnergyPresidentQualityEnthusiasmFormerFuneralPresident ObamaStrategistBidenEnergy And Enthusiasm Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education. He also made a snowball and put it in the oven, just to see which would last longer, his budget or the snowball.” MadeLastsPresidentTaxesIncreaseBudgetsWealthyPresident ObamaMore MoneyOvensSnowball Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in the world could tell him he picked one of the lamest possible superpowers.” IfsWorldWantSaidSpeakLanguagePresidentAbilityPresident ObamaSuperpowerAbility To Speak Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress - or as Republicans who called Obama said, 'Close, but no cigar.'” NeedsSaidPresidentRepublicanRelationCongressLiftsControlledPresident ObamaApprovalCubaCigarEmbargo Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing Obama can identify with, it's aging several years over the course of a couple of hours.” IfsYearsCoursesPresidentHoursOne ThingCoupleAgingMake SenseInterviewsPresident ObamaBoyhood Author:Jimmy Fallon
“In an interview, President Obama said he recently deejayed a small dance party at the White House. Obama has a lot in common with deejays. He takes requests and then completely ignores them.” SaidHousePresidentWhitePartyCommonInterviewsWhite HousePresident ObamaRequestDance PartyDeejays Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if you get the feeling he's repeating himself every half hour, that's where he learned it from.” IfsSaidFeelingsPresidentHoursHalfWatchesMorningLikesPresident ObamaHalf HoursEspn Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The heroic New York doctor who caught Ebola has been declared Ebola free. President Obama called the doctor to thank him for his selflessness and compassion. Then to be safe, Obama threw his phone in a trash can and lit it on fire.” Has BeensPresidentCompassionFireNew YorkSafeDoctorsPhonesCaughtPresident ObamaHeroicSelflessnessLitTrashDoctor WhoEbolaTrash Cans Author:Jimmy Fallon
“After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet.' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.” PresidentSupportInternetYesterdayTexasPresident ObamaSenatorsObamacareNeutralityCruzNet Neutrality Author:Jimmy Fallon