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Wife Quotes

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Wife Quotes

“This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.”

Thinking Knows Left Wife Worst Husband Hey Lifts Devices Bugs Sofas Cushions Tracking Uterus

Author:Roseanne Barr

“I have always considered The Merry Wives one of the worst plays, if not altogether the worst, that Shakespeare has left us. The wit for the most part is dreary or foolish; the tone is coarse and farcical; and the characters want the fine distinctive touches he so well knew how to give. If some luckless wight had written such a comedy in our time, I should like to see what the critics would say to it?”

Ifs Want Giving Should Wells Play Character Left Comedy Wife Written Worst Fine Critics Foolish Wit Tone Our Time Merry Distinctive Dreary Coarse

Book:Dramatic Essays

Source: Dramatic Essays

“I was seventeen years old, a married woman without real responsibilities, miserable about my mixed-up emotions, afraid there was something awfully wrong with me because I didn't enjoy being a wife. Worst of all, I didn't have enough to do.”

Years Real Enough Enjoy Emotion Responsibility Wife Worst Married Miserable Seventeen Married Women Seventeen Years Old

Author:Mary Martin

“It's like every day is the worst day of your life. And you're trapped and you're scared and you have to portray those emotions in every take and really take yourself to those places. (about her role as an abused wife in ENOUGH.”

Enough Emotion Roles Wife Worst Scared Trapped Worst Day

Author:Jennifer Lopez

“The wife, where danger or dishonour lurks, Safest and seemliest by her husband stays, Who guards her, or with her the worst endures.”

Wife Worst Danger Husband Endure Paradise Lost Book 9 Dishonour

Book:Paradise lost

Source: Paradise lost

“Villains are usually the worst casuists, and rush into crimes to avoid less. Henry VIII. committed murder to avoid the imputation of adultery; and in our times, those who commit the latter crime attempt to wash off the stain of seducing the wife by signifying their readiness to shoot the husband.”

Wife Worst Crime Husband Murder Committed Commit Our Time Latter Villain Adultery Readiness Stains Seducing Villainy Henry Viii Signifying Henry V

Book:Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words: Addressed to Those who Think

Source: Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words: Addressed to Those who Think

“My wife keeps on telling me my worst fault is that I keep things to myself and appear relaxed. But I am really in a room in my own head and not hearing a thing anyone is saying.”

My Own Rooms Wife Worst Faults Hearing My Wife Relaxed

Author:Tom Hanks

“The truth is despite the hard work and juggling required to keep the different facets of the frantic life afloat, the "superwoman"has one marvelous compensation. Being busy and being seen to be busy lets you off the hook. Buys you a way out of all aspects of your many roles you secretly despiselike cleaning cupboardsor entertaining your husband's business friends. When you combine wife, mother, career and all, each role become the perfect excuse for avoiding the worst aspects of the other.”

“The great thing about not being president anymore is I can say whatever I want, about anything. Of course [now], nobody really cares what I say. And now I have the worst of all worlds -- my wife has become the secretary of state, so no one really cares what I say -- unless I mess up.”

World Want I Can States Care Courses President Wife Worst My Wife Great Things Mess Secretary

Author:William J. Clinton

“What is the most profitable? Fellowship with the good. What is the worst thing in the world? The society of evil men. What is the greatest loss? Failure in one?s duty. Where is the greatest peace? In truth and righteousness. Who is the hero? The man who subdues his senses. Who is the best beloved? The faithful wife. What is wealth? Knowledge. What is the most perfect happiness? Staying at home.”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.”

Wife Worst Dog My Wife Cooks

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark”

Should Believe Humor Funny Dark Wife Worst Don't Believe My Wife Cooks Believe In Me Glow In The Dark Meatloaf

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate. You'll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There's no risk when you go after a dream. There's a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.”

Knows Reason Dream Kids Jobs Hate Next Realizing Sleep Wife Risk Worst Amount Couple Kings Bed Safe Married Worst Things Hate You Sleeping In Playing It Safe Futons Jobs You Hate

Author:Bill Burr

“My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words.”

Ifs Thinking Different Use Wife Worst Subjects Habit My Wife Clarity Bother Dropping

Author:Paul Reiser

“I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say 'Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict.'”

“Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car, a great job. You got a wife, kids, you got your health. But then your company is sold out from under you, your stocks tank, your wife's sleeping with the gardener and your teenage daughter is pregnant. And you notice that you have a prostate so hard, you can actually take a hammer to it. But hey, not one zit.”