“Here's good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? ... President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun” WellsMatterFactsTodayFightingPresidentSunNewsYeahCommittedGlobal WarmingTroopsGood NewsPresident BushBudMatter Of FactBuckles Author:David Letterman
“I remember a very important lesson that my father gave me when I was twelve or thirteen. He said, "You know, today I welded a perfect seam and I signed my name to it." And I said, "But, Daddy, no one's going to see it!" And he said, "Yeah, but I know it's there." So when I was working in kitchens, I did good work.” KnowsSaidImportantTodayRememberFatherNamesPerfectLessonsYeahKitchenTwelveGood WorkDaddyThirteenImportant Lessons Author:Toni Morrison
“Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband makes $300 million a year. She has to get by on $200 million a year, and that's not fair.” YearsTodayMillionsExampleHusbandFairsYeahClintonCampaignsIncomeInequalityThemeNot FairIncome Inequality Author:Conan O'Brien
“Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'” FeelsSaidTodayHousePresidentWhiteMetsYeahWhite HousePresident Obama Author:Craig Ferguson
“I'm trying to think of other ones. Oh, yeah, I'd say - somebody would buy something and we'd say, and because you are our hundredth customer today, you get a free paperback.” ThinkingTryingTodayYeahCustomers Author:Steve Martin
“John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the $80 million: soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse.” WayTryingTwoTodayMillionsWifeRight NowRaisesYeahDemocraticBusyCampaignsConventionsLots Of MoneyTwo WaysPursesJohn KerryDonors Author:Conan O'Brien
“Barrie and the wonderful characters he created, Lewis Carroll, even French literature, like Baudelaire or over in the States, Poe, you open those books, you open The Flowers of Evil and begin to read. If it were written today, you'd be absolutely stupefied by the work. It's this incredible period where the work is timeless, ageless. So yeah, I just love all those guys. It's my deep passion in those great 19th century writers.” IfsBookStatesCharacterTodayGuyPassionEvilLiteratureWonderfulWrittenCenturyFlowerPeriodsYeahIncrediblesWorking ItTimeless19th CenturyAgelessFrench LiteratureBaudelaireDeep Passion Author:Johnny Depp
“I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah, if you spend seven years looking for a job as a copywriter, and then one day somebody gives you a job, you can say, Gee, I was lucky I happened to go up there today. But, dammit, I was going to go up there sooner or later in the next seventy years. If you're persistent in trying and doing and working, you almost make your own fortune.” IfsThinkingGivingWritingTryingYearsHardTodayJobsTimeNextHappenedOne DayLuckyDeterminationYeahLuckFortuneSevenPersistenceSooner Or LaterSeventiesPersistentSeven YearsMonarchyLooking For A Job Author:Jerry Della Femina
“Earlier today Martha Stewart issued a statement saying 'I am innocent and will fight to clear my name.' Yeah, Martha then said 'I look forward to the day when people stop thinking I am guilty and get back to thinking I am cold and arrogant.'” PeopleThinkingLooksSaidTodayFightingNamesClearColdYeahStatementsInnocentGuiltyGet BackArrogant Author:Conan O'Brien
“Of course, we're so lucky to be in a time where that's not our reality anymore. I just thought it was very interesting to go back to that time now, and to look at all of these issues that are still relevant today, but just in such a different way, and to see how we approach them and try to overcome them. Yeah, we've come a long way with medicine and women's health in the Western world, but in a lot of parts of the rest of the world, that's still a huge issue.” WorldWayTryingLooksLongStillsDifferentRealityTodayCoursesInterestingIssuesHugeLuckyApproachOvercomingYeahMedicineWesternDifferent WaysRelevantLong WayVery InterestingWestern WorldSo LuckyWomen's Health Author:Eve Hewson
“Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.” PeopleKnowsKindI CanTodayJobsCausesComedySickYeahFolksWoodsHelloStand Up Comedy Author:Carol Leifer
“I went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so... I'm not kiddin!” TodayWantedGirlYeahStalkingSkiing Author:Dave Attell
“Well there's a lot of machines making music today too so you should expect perfection from them! Other than that it's humans programming it which is actually why i still like it. But yeah, that sounds about right. Now what I've got to do is I've got to stop expecting it of myself.” ShouldHumansWellsStillsTodaySoundRight NowPerfectionMachinesYeahProgrammingExpecting Author:Eddie Vedder
“Yeah there's always something different. He's still limited to what he can do - ya know, no super powers, just a high skill set. But they have a cool thing - this time I learn very quickly... um, bow. 'Cause in the first Avengers he had that short bow that cracks open, and then I can crack and close with a staff. So now I'm a master with a staff apparently. I have to learn that today.” KnowsFirstsStillsI CanDifferentTodayCausesCan DoMastersSkillsYeahCracksBowsStaffCool ThingsAvengersSuper Power Author:Jeremy Renner
“I don't have like whatever, so I'm just like, "Oh man, I'm just going to try to stay out of most people's way and get a taco and enjoy myself as much as I can," because it's such a beautiful town. Beautiful weather. I called my dad that day to tell him what was going on with my passport and he was like, "Yeah it snowed four inches today. It's ten degrees outside." I'm just like, "Cool. I'm glad I'm in Austin, no matter what."” PeopleMenWayTryingI CanMatterTodayBeautifulEnjoyFourDadTenDegreesTownsNo Matter WhatYeahMy DadGladWeatherInchesPassportsAustinTacos Author:Justin Vernon
“I've read about all the sales today. If you're an auto dealer, you're feeling it. If you're a furniture retailer like we are, you're feeling it. If you're a jewelry retailer, you're feeling it. I know some of these businesses because we're in them. Yeah, it's being felt, but it will be felt big time more if we don't do something about it, what's going on.” IfsKnowsFeelingsBigsTodayFeltYeahFurnitureJewelryDealerRetailers Author:Warren Buffett
“The people that say diversity is the reason for the greatness are purposely assaulting the United States as founded. They want you to believe that America was only great for a few people as founded, because, as founded, America was gigantically discriminating against the poor and against people of color and against transgenders. Yeah, I've read the Federalist Papers, you know. James Madison, he wasn't popular with the transgender group back then. Did you know that? You won't find the word. It was not a factor, the way they have attempted to modernize things here today. It's just lies.” PeopleKnowsWayWantBelieveStatesReasonTodayAmericaLyingPoorUnitedUnited StatesGroupsGreatnessColorPaperDiversityYeahFactorsPapersTransgenderDid You KnowMadisonFederalistFederalist Papers Author:Rush Limbaugh
“As Harry and Ron rounded the clump of trees behind which Harry had first heard the dragons roar, a witch leapt out from behind them. It was Rita Skeeter. She was wearing acid-green robes today; the Quick-Quotes Quill in her hand blended perfectly against them. "Congratulations, Harry!' she said beaming at him. "I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How do you feel now about the fairness of the scoring?" "Yeah, you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Goodbye!” IfsGivingFeelsFirstsSaidHandsTodayFeltBehindsWonderHeardTreeGive MeYeahGreenGoodbyeDragonsWitchFairnessCongratulationsAcidRobesWeasleyRon WeasleyQuills Author:J. K. Rowling
“Yeah. Just keep the live feed going so that I can see it and pretend I’m there, too. (Tory) Yes, my queen. Anything else you’d like? (Geary) A million dollars and Brad Pitt. (Tory) You forgot world peace. (Geary) I’m feeling a bit selfish today. Teenage hormonal overdose, I think. Or just general excitement. (Tory)” ThinkingWorldI CanFeelingsTodayBitsMillionsYeahDollarsSelfishQueensExcitementTeenageMillion DollarsBradOverdose Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon
“Do you know where Jason is?” she asked Dmitri when they exited the morgue. Dmitri pressed the car remote to unlock the flame red Ferrari parked in the employees-only lot. “Tired of your Bluebell already?” A tendril of champagne circled around her senses, cut with something far harder. Never had she felt that harsh edge in Dmitri’s scent. She pitied the woman he took to his bed today. “Yeah, that’s it. I’m building a harem.” KnowsTodayFeltCuttingCarBuildingBedRedHarderYeahTiredEdgesSensesFlamesEmployeeDo You KnowHarshScentChampagneJasonFerrariHaremBluebellsMorgues Book:Nalini Singh: Guild Hunters Novels 1-4 Source: Nalini Singh: Guild Hunters Novels 1-4
“Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.” FirstsSaidIdeasTodayBoysShotsYeahHoping Someone Book:Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum Novel Source: Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum Novel
“Yeah,” said Iggy. “But what now? Let’s do something fun.” I guess being on the run from bloodthirsty Erasers and insane scientists wasn’t enough fun for him. Kids today are so spoiled.” SaidEnoughRunningKidsTodayFunScientistYeahInsaneSpoiledErasers Author:James Patterson
“Someone came in all Starfleet badges today. Not on my shift, sadly.' 'Fascist,' Leon had said. 'Why are you so prejudiced against nerds?' 'Please,' Billy said. 'That would be a bit self-hating, wouldn't it?' 'Yeah, but you pass. You're like, you're in deep cover,' Leon said. 'You can sneak out of the nerd ghetto and hide the badge and bring back food and clothes and word of the outside world.” WorldSaidSelfWould BeTodayHateBitsLike YouPleaseClothesYeahNerdGhettoFascistsOutside WorldSneakBadgesLeon Author:China Mieville
“Toby smiled and started to speak, but Josh adjusted his hold on Tank and reached back, covering Toby's mouth. "Wait," Grace said. "I think he was going to actually use words." "Yeah, but trust me, you don't want to hear them." Toby pulled Josh's hand away. "Are you my new mommy?" Grace's mouth fell open in shock, and Toby giggled at the sight. "Okay, Tiger," Josh said. "You know I love the sound of your laugh, probably more than any sound in the world, but I will squash you like a grape if you say that to one more woman today.” IfsThinkingKnowsWorldWantSaidUseHandsTodaySpeakWaitingSoundLaughingGraceMouthsOkaySightYeahShockTigersTrust MeTanksCoveringGrapesSquashJoshToby Author:Jill Shalvis
“I knew I could play well on the grass, but I really played so well today. I knew exactly what I had to play to beat her. I just did everything I could in the moment. I was very focused for every point. I knew that I had to go forward for every shot I was playing to push her back, and yeah, I did it.” WellsPlayMomentsTodayBeatsShotsYeahFocusedGrass Author:Petra Kvitova
“I've tried Botox, I've tried them all. I'm definitely not one of those people who says, 'You shouldn't do this.' Everyone can individually do what they want. For all time women have wanted to, for the most part, look their best. It's just that what we have available to us today is what it is today and if you want to take advantage of it, yeah.” PeopleIfsWantLooksTodayWantedAdvantageYeahAvailableAll TimeBotox Author:Kylie Minogue