“You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.” LittlesWholeHumorFunnyOrderThreeBitsLittle BitPhilosophicalRemainsLegsEightPityBitterConfusedHuntingSpidersPreyConvincingSquirrelsVenomUkrainianSamaritans Author:Bill Bailey
“At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.” ThinkingYearsLongEnoughWholeHandsWantedJobsThreeFeltPayCompanyCollegeLong TimeMouthsBillsTheatreEmploymentThree YearsCashFrustratedGigs Author:Bill Bailey
“Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.” GivingLittlesWholeProblemThreeBitsLosesNumbersStupidExampleSceneLittle BitJokesCommitmentComedianTediousInevitabilityPubsHandicapsBlokesBail Author:Bill Bailey
“Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.” HumorWould BeFunnyThreeWalksHumourBlindMiceSurroundingsPubs Author:Bill Bailey
“Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!” HumorHappensFunnyThreeComedyThings HappenOutcomesPubsBlokes Author:Bill Bailey
“Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.” LittlesWholeThreeBitsStupidSceneLittle BitTediousInevitabilityPubsBlokes Author:Bill Bailey
“Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'” ThreeWalksJokesMalesFormatPubs Author:Bill Bailey
