“I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.” ThinkingLongHumorFunnyBitsShotsPropertyCirclesTricksCropsWheatSpaceshipsCorrespondingLong ShotsVelcro Author:Bill Bailey
“A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."” LongHumorFunnyFacesLawWalksExistenceAspectHorseBarsProtectedBarmen Author:Bill Bailey
“At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.” ThinkingYearsLongEnoughWholeHandsWantedJobsThreeFeltPayCompanyCollegeLong TimeMouthsBillsTheatreEmploymentThree YearsCashFrustratedGigs Author:Bill Bailey
“What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.” WellsLongHumorFunnyGrowsBeardHarps Author:Bill Bailey
