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Cynthia Heimel Quotes

Writer

Cynthia Heimel was an American writer born on July 13, 1947, and passed away on February 25, 2018. Known for her unique sense of humor and feminist perspective, her work spanned various forms including novels, essays, and memoirs.

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All Ifs Knows Funny People Dog Humans Men Brain Thinking Believe Humorous Necks Needs Trying World Body Car Care Country Feelings

Famous Cynthia Heimel Quotes

“If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?”

Ifs Funny Sarcastic

Book:If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

Source: If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

“The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Needs Might Funny Attention Brain Media Journalism Rubbish Hairdos

Book:If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

Source: If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

“All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.”

Ifs Men Funny Dog Careful Silly Ruins Insecure Frogs Puppy Giraffe

Author:Cynthia Heimel

“Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.”

Ifs Way Funny Dog Shame My Dog

Book:Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye

Source: Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye

“Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.”

World Children Humor Kids Funny Parent Born Perfect Poor Baby Humorous Pity Imperfect Infant

Author:Cynthia Heimel

“In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.”

Ifs Helping Happens Funny Lying Girl Mistake Streets New York Humorous Police Innocent Buddhist Necks Exploding Nightclubs

Book:If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

Source: If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

“In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.”

Funny New York Couple Kissing Humorous Tables Trends Manhattan Salad Pasta Devouring Arugula

Author:Cynthia Heimel

About the Author

Born: July 13, 1947
Died: February 25, 2018
Known for: Writer
Quotes: 62

Books & Sources

Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-byeRelated source material

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!Related source material

Sex Tips For Girls: Lust, Love, and Romance from the Lives of Single WomenRelated source material

But Enough about YouRelated source material

When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll be MeRelated source material

Sex Tips For GirlsRelated source material

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