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Cynthia Heimel

Cynthia Heimel Books

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“The moment you decide that you're a grownup now, and therefore must put away foolish things like staying out all night or cruising down strange highways is the moment you will lose that ineffable glow of youth. If you don't believe me, look around. Study those people who would rather go to shopping malls than dance halls, who think the height of depravity is bidding two no trump with only fifteen points. Every single one of these people has a stringy neck.”

PeopleIfsThinkingBelieveLooksTwoMomentsNightLosesStudyYouthStrangeTrumpDon't BelieveFoolishHeightNecksStayingHallsShoppingBelieve In MeAdulthoodFifteenHighwaysAll NightMallsDepravityIneffableGrownupsBidding
Author:Cynthia Heimel
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“Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. ... I don't blame men for this. Men seem to go for us no matter what size and shape we are. I blame capitalism. No, really. The consumer must constantly be in a state of anxious low self-esteem so that she will constantly buy lipsticks and girdles to make her feel cuter.”

MenFeelsTryingSelfMatterStatesBodySeemsSelf EsteemShapesLowsCapitalismIdealsNo Matter WhatBlameSizeEsteemConsumersAnxiousConsumerismLipstickLow Self EsteemPhantomsBlame MeGirdlesAirbrushing
Author:Cynthia Heimel
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“The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.”

MindHumansMeanBookSelfHelpingLostPsychologySelf HelpDegreesMental HealthDesperateBuyingYachtSelf Help BooksHelp BookTwitsLost Your Mind
Book:Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye
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“Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.”

ThinkingWorldHumansWholeSeemsCareWorryConditionsInvolvedRight NowTreatsHuman ConditionThink Of YouDysfunctional FamilyCodependent
Book:If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!
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“success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.”

PeopleHumansNextCarGeniusOne DayLateApproachModelsDignityHollywoodSmellBrilliantExpensiveLos AngelesStakesNext DayArbitraryHuman Dignity
Author:Cynthia Heimel
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“Los Angeles people are incapable of passively mainlining TV and movies. Here you have to read who produced or directed every episode, who wrote it, who had guests shots and whether you know them personally and if they like you. You have to figure out who everybody's agent is and whether yours is better. You not only know but deeply care about the difference between such job titles as Producer, Supervising Producer, and Executive Story Editor. ... So while the rest of the country is lying stupid in a media-induced coma, people in L.A. are in constant withdrawal.”

PeopleIfsKnowsCountryStoriesCareJobsLyingDifferencesMediaStupidFiguresTvsLike YouShotsHollywoodConstantProducersAgentsTitlesExecutivesLos AngelesEditorsGuestsEpisodesIncapableWithdrawalComaJob Titles
Book:Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye
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“We all have rosy memories of a simpler, happy time- a time of homemade apple pie and gingham curtains, a time when Mom understood everything and Dad could fix anything. "Let's get those traditional family values back!" we murmur to each other. Meanwhile, in a simultaneous universe, everyone I know, and every celebrity I don't know, is coming out of the closet to talk about how miserable they are because they grew up in dysfunctional families.”

KnowsValuesUniverseMemoriesGrewMomDadGrew UpUnderstoodTraditionalMiserableApplesComing OutPieClosetsCurtainsFamily ValuesDysfunctional FamilyRosyHomemadeSimultaneousApple PieHappy TimesTraditional FamilyComing Out Of The Closet
Author:Cynthia Heimel
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“Those rosy memories we all share are actually memories from our favorite TV shows. We've confused our own childhoods with episodes of "Ozzie and Harriet," "Father Knows Best," and "The Brady Bunch." In real life, Ozzie had a very visible mistress for years, Bud and Kitten on "Father Knows Best" grew up to become major druggies, and Mom on "The Brady Bunch" dated her fifteen-year-old fictional son.”

KnowsYearsRealShowsFatherMemoriesShareChildhoodSonTvsGrewMomMajorsGrew UpReal LifeBunchConfusedVisibleEpisodesFifteenTv ShowsMistressBudKittenFifteen YearsRosyBradyFifteen Years OldDruggiesBrady BunchFavorite Tv ShowsFather Knows Best
Book:Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye
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“We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time.”

IfsWorldAbleHumanityGoalOur LivesDyingEmbraceProfoundMeaningfulSensesPrimariesDullGood TimesBetter PlaceWorth LivingHaving A Good TimeFrivolousFrivolityTrivial Things
Author:Cynthia Heimel
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“I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word "hype" was coined on that very day.”

PeopleBelieveDoneRememberI BelieveRocksBandHumorousPressesAdvertisingAdsPsychedelicHypeGrapesRogerRock BandsHanging AroundCommunes
Book:If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!
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“We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.”

IfsBelieveMightVoiceMetsFeministLegsConvincedCoreNecksSuspectsHave FaithDeep Down
Book:Sex Tips For Girls: Lust, Love, and Romance from the Lives of Single Women
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