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Famous Dana Gould Quotes
“If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?”
“Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.”
“If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.”
“Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.”
“If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.”
“I would think, if you were horny enough, there'd come a time when it was hos before bros.”
“If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?”
“If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.”
“If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.”
“If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.”