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Related Quotes
“Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.”
“The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.”
“I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.”
“I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.”
“Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.”
“I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.”
“I've never slept with a virgin, but I love breaking the seal on a new peanut butter.”
“Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.”
“Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.”
“I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.”
“If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?”
“I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.”
“I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.”
“Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.”
