Dave Barry Quotes

Author

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life.

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Famous Dave Barry Quotes

“The Olympic movement simply cannot allow the Russians to become estranged, because Russia is a vital part of the world sports community, in the sense of having nuclear missiles.”

World Funny Sports Community Movement Humorous Nuclear Russia Missiles Nuclear Missiles

Book:Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

Source: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

“The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing hilariously bad suits. Their leader was Josef Stalin (Russian for "Joey Bananas")”

Men Running Funny Leader Groups Humorous Unions Russia Suits Communist Soviet Dedication Fierce Soviet Union Bananas Joey Josef Stalin

Book:Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States

Source: Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States

“I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.”

Want Humans Book Funny Sex Understanding Boys Humorous Sells Chapters Frontiers Explicit

Book:All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist

Source: All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist

“I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.”

Thinking Funny Guy Sex Periods Capable Humorous

Book:Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys

Source: Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys

“9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the parties had to speak to each other manually; today one or both ends of the conversation would be carried on by a machine.”

Firsts Long Ends Would Be Today Courses Speak Party Saws New York Conversation Humorous Direct Machines Distance Eras Primitive Telephones San Francisco Long Distance Answering Machines

Author:Dave Barry

“What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.”

People Want Night Middle Humorous Sells Phones Magazines Telephones Middle Of The Night Answering Machines Subscription

Author:Dave Barry

“I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the curriculum in Trend College - "I just hate to talk to a machine!" They say this as though it is a major philosophical position, as opposed to a description of a minor neurosis. My feeling is, if you have a problem like this, you shouldn't go around trumpeting it; you should stay home and practice talking to a machine you can feel comfortable with, such as your Water Pik, until you are ready to assume your place in modern society.”

About the Author

Born: July 3, 1947
Known for: Author
Quotes: 831

Books & Sources

Dave Barry's Greatest HitsRelated source material

Dave Barry Is from Mars and VenusRelated source material

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever NeedRelated source material

Dave Barry Talks BackRelated source material

The World According to Dave BarryRelated source material

Dave Barry Turns 50Related source material

Dave Barry in CyberspaceRelated source material

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting DownRelated source material

Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual JournalismRelated source material

Dave Barry Does JapanRelated source material

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