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Zach Braff

Zach Braff Quotes

Actor

Zach Braff, born on April 6, 1975, is an American actor. He gained widespread popularity for his role as Joshua Platt in the television series 'Parks and Recreation', and won the Independent Spirit Award for his lead role in the film 'Garden State'.

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All People Ifs Thinking Knows Mean Want Should Men Guy Wanted

Famous Zach Braff Quotes

“Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.”

Author:Zach Braff

“It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.”

Feels Persons White Groups Guidance

Author:Zach Braff

“I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.”

Feels Asks Streets Clean Ask Me

Author:Zach Braff

“Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?”

Lasts Saws Last Time Shorts

Author:Zach Braff

“I mean, what's eleven million people now days?”

People Mean Millions Eleven

Author:Zach Braff

“Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.”

People Thinking Sometimes Shows Courses Greater Killing Greater Good

Author:Zach Braff

“I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.”

Dream Wanted Next Lines Morning I Realized Ass Hey Cocaine I Had A Dream

Author:Zach Braff

“Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do”

Want Important Kids Saws Yeah Inconvenient Important Work Inconvenient Truth

Author:Zach Braff

“I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.”

Writing Years New York Tough Theater Scripts

Author:Zach Braff

“I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you don't want AIDs, don't be a ice cream man. Or African. I'm neither and I'm fine.”

Ifs Men Want Fine Patient Scripts Aids Ice Episodes Cream Ice Cream Turned Down

Author:Zach Braff

“It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.”

Turns Weak Horse Kryptonite

Author:Zach Braff

“You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.”

Knows Trying Shows Winning Bits Watches Special Like Me Compare Olympics Competing Contests Special Olympics

Author:Zach Braff

“Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.”

Sometimes Use Ability

Author:Zach Braff

“It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.”

Knows Mean Book Real Hard Stuff Lines Study Doctors Fascinating Memorizing

Author:Zach Braff

“I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.”

People Ifs Knows Mean Today Alive Happened Died Theater Excuse Burning No Excuses Movie Theater Skyscraper

Author:Zach Braff

“I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.”

Found Stars Difficult Forget Identity Bourne Bourne Identity

Author:Zach Braff

“Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.”

Looks Has Beens Acting Mirrors Everyday Scripts Looking Pretty

Author:Zach Braff

“Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.”

Ideas Right Ideas

Author:Zach Braff

“I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.”

Guy Compare Arrogant

Author:Zach Braff

“When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?”

Knows Real Shows Wanted Bits Hero Doctors Like Me Reluctant Real Heroes

Author:Zach Braff

“If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.”

Ifs Feels Should Made States Enough Party Shots Red Garden Tragedy Army Yeah Legs Dumb Volunteer Hicks Garden State

Author:Zach Braff

“Yea, I had a dream too. Looks like mine came true.”

Looks Dream Mines I Had A Dream

Author:Zach Braff

“The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.”

Real Differences Cry

Author:Zach Braff

“I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.”

Next Jesus Precursor

Author:Zach Braff

“I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.”

Knows Should Baby Taste Eating Harm Innocence Delicious Ribs

Author:Zach Braff

“I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.”

People Men Firsts Looks Mean Reason Character Bits Player Casts Like Me Relate X Men Ensemble

Author:Zach Braff

“It's really hard to find parts that challenge me as an actor these days. At this point in my career, I feel like I can just sleepwalk through most of my roles and still do a better job than 90 percent of the actors out there.”

Feels Stills I Can Hard Jobs Actors Challenges Careers Roles Percent These Days Better Jobs

Author:Zach Braff

“Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.”

Author:Zach Braff

“It's... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.”

People Long States Wanted Lasts Girl Company Kissing Garden I Realized Swimming Weird Things Pussy Garden State Last Kiss

Author:Zach Braff

“People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.”

People Sometimes Mother Asks Realizing Ask Me Confusing

Author:Zach Braff

“People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?”

People States Lasts Saws Garden Graduates Last Time Garden State

Author:Zach Braff

“I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.”

Mean Important Shows Actors Acting Talent Doctors Saved

Author:Zach Braff

“People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.”

People Ifs Looks Mean Mistake Wonder Opinion Example Making Mistakes Look At Me

Author:Zach Braff

“Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.”

Years Years Ago Mirrors

Author:Zach Braff

“Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.”

Sometimes Moving Fiction Intention Noble Copies Sole Sections

Author:Zach Braff

“Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?”

Ifs Whole Asks Cities Terrible Safety Swim

Author:Zach Braff

“Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.”

Mean Term Failing Talent Dollars Stores Fake Plastic Eyebrows Overweight Flatulence Dreadlocks

Author:Zach Braff

“Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.”

People Men Said Grateful Instance Hello Really Sad

Author:Zach Braff

“I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.”

Dog Hot Beer Corn Pizza Hot Dog Eggplant

Author:Zach Braff

“I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.”

Thinking Book Use Scripts Jew Significant

Author:Zach Braff

“I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.”

People Knows Giving Should May Wanted My Own Mistake Meetings Like Me Spots Symbols Upset Parks Honored Handicaps

Author:Zach Braff

“I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.”

Jesus Pressure Bogart

Author:Zach Braff

“To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.”

People Knows Life Is Struggle Successful Get Up Cursed Nobody Knows Understatement

Author:Zach Braff

“I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than women at some professions like firefighting, construction work, and physics. But women are better than men at some professions, too, like elementary teaching, prostitution, and giving birth. Who's to say which is more important?”

“My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.”

Ifs Trying Dog My Dog

Author:Zach Braff

“Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.”

People Stills Black Tree My Family Black People

Author:Zach Braff

“I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.”

People Black Term Black People Demeaning

Author:Zach Braff

“I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.”

People Thinking Should Next Team Should Have Seasons England Patriot New England New England Patriots

Author:Zach Braff

“One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.”

People Want Character Would Be Running Games Conscience I Realized Video Shooting One Time Heroin Shooting Up Being Awesome

Author:Zach Braff

“My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.”

Mind Children Age School Jobs Film Actors Millions Generations Taught Directors Doctors Inspired Masterpiece Film School

Author:Zach Braff

About the Author

Born: April 6, 1975
Known for: Actor
Quotes: 338

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