Best Air Travel Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 2

“It was over in a blink of an eye, that moment when aviation stirred the modern imagination. Aviation was transformed from recklessness to routine in Lindbergh's lifetime. Today the riskiest part of air travel is the drive to the airport, and the airlines use a barrage of stimuli to protect passengers from ennui.”

Source: The pursuit of happiness, and other sobering thoughts

“To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.”

Humorous Diets Aviation Airplane Airline Air Travel

Author:Wolfgang Puck

“Every time we hit an air pocket and the plane dropped about five hundred feet (leaving my stomach in my mouth) I vowed to give up sex, bacon, and air travel if I ever made it back to terra firma in one piece.”

Ifs Giving Made Sex Five Pieces Air Feet Giving Up Mouths Hundred Leaving Made It Planes Pockets Aviation Stomach Airline One Piece Air Travel

Author:Erica Jong

“There are no distant places any longer: the world is small and the world is one.”

World Flying Flight Aviation Airplane Great Aviation Air Travel Airplanes And Flying World Is Small

Author:Wendell Willkie

“Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.”

Earth Funny Form Food Humorous Flight Boat Sailing Airline Transportation Hares Air Travel Sailboat

Author:Dave Barry

“I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.”

Ifs Knows Men Giving Firsts Humor Would Be Funny Pieces Food Humorous Traveler Airports Airline Suitcases Luggage Dummy Air Travel

Author:Erma Bombeck

“Air travel reminds us who we are. It's the means by which we recognize ourselves as modern. The process removes us from the world and sets us apart from each other. We wander in the ambient noise, checking one more time for the flight coupon, the boarding pass, the visa. The process convinces us that at any moment we may have to submit to the force that is implied in all this, the unknown authority behind it, behind the categories, the languages we don't understand. This vast terminal has been erected to examine souls.”

Source: The Names

“There is no reason why we shouldn't be able to split an infinitive, any more than we should forsake instant coffee and air travel because they weren't available to the Romans.”

Should Reason Able Air Available Coffee Reason Why Instant No Reason Splits Forsake Air Travel Instant Coffee Infinitive

Author:Bill Bryson

“As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."”

Ifs Said Stories Humor Funny Past Worry Food Type Humorous Window Planes Sat Bob Jet Airline Obsolete Aircraft Colonels Air Travel Swapping

Author:Bob Hope

“There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.”

Humor Funny Food Humorous Noses Subtle Pilots Rip Airline Landing Air Travel

Author:Bob Hope

“The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.”

Humor Funny Sea Modern Food Months Ocean Humorous My Family Storm Miles Violent Islands Aviation Primitive Airline Sailor Hardy Air Travel Hawaiians Polynesians

Book:Dave Barry Talks Back

Source: Dave Barry Talks Back

“This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.”

Stills Book Dream Humor Funny Air Food Humorous Sickness Dedicated Airline Just A Dream Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.”

Years Problem Humor Today Funny New York Food Humorous Hundred Years Ago California Equipment Airline Hares Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."”

Humans Humor Funny Form Objects Food Humorous Starting Entertainment Flight Broads Categories Consumption Airline Minerals Air Travel Airline Food

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.”

Ifs Humor Might Funny Jobs Causes Security Missing Food Humorous Saving Planes Airline Personnel Air Travel Saving Your Life

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.”

Humor Funny Hours Food Humorous Airports Procedures Airline One Hour Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Source: Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

“Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."”

Humor Funny Hours Food Industry Humorous Motto Airline Announcements Air Travel Airline Industry

Author:Dave Barry

“This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.”

Years Humor Funny Hours Millions Records Four Air Food Humorous Feds Airline Passengers Peanuts Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Source: Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

“In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.”

Funny America Modern Food Humorous Airplane Airline Air Travel Modern America

Author:Dave Barry

“Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.”

Way Humor Funny Security Food Humorous Insane Granted Sanity Airports Airline Air Travel Airport Security

Book:Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

Source: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

“The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.”

States Humor Able Funny United United States Food Humorous Complexes Patterns Flight Layers Protective Airline Missiles Dense Delayed Air Travel Puke

Author:Dave Barry

“The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.”

Ifs Hard Humor Funny Hate Food Late Humorous Terrorist Flight Planes Meals Beaten Crowded Airline Passengers Noisy Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.”

Humor Hands Funny Trouble Food Humorous Gun Dinner Boards Airline Air Travel Musk

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?”

People Ifs Humor Today Funny Land Food Computer Humorous Crosses Instruments Flying Covered Bottles Airplane Fog Sandwiches Airline Liquor Radar Runway Air Travel Bologna

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.”

Humor Bigs Funny Gone Sky Food Humorous Convinced Airline Triangles Luggage Air Travel Bermuda Bermuda Triangle

Author:Erma Bombeck

“Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.”

Writing Humor Funny Fiction Food Humorous Airline Fiction Writers Menus Air Travel

Author:Erma Bombeck

“The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch.”

Mean Humor Funny Food Humorous Seats Smoking Captains Belts Lap Joints Airline Air Travel Seat Belts

Author:George Carlin

“I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.”

Humor Funny Food Humorous Airline Air Travel Just For Fun Airplanes And Flying

Author:George S. Kaufman

“I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."”

Years Humor Hands Light Funny Dies Food Humorous Threat Dues Smoke Thirty Airline Thirty Years Lighters Disposable Air Travel Secondhand Smoke

Book:Peace Kills

Source: Peace Kills

“Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.”

Mean Humor Funny Air Modern Food Humorous Airline Time Spent Air Travel

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell

“Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."”

Looks Humor Funny Names Security Food Months Computer Picks Humorous Seven Checks Officers Definite Airports Airline Diapers Racial Profiling Air Travel Seven Months Airport Security

Author:Robin Williams

“Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?”

Giving Loses Humorous Give Me Planes Nails Airline Air Travel

Author:Robin Williams

“When the plane is delayed, it's not the fault of the girl at the desk. I'm resigned to the fact that everything is out of my control and that air travel nowadays is barbaric.”

Facts Girl Air Faults Planes Desks Delayed Resigned Barbaric Air Travel

Author:Tom Conti

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Air Travel Quotes