“There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.” MenWantDifferentHumorFunnySexBattleMen And WomenGenderDifferent ThingsWant MeWomen Want Author:George Burns
“To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.” WayHas BeensDifferentCountryStatesProblemHumorPoliticalUnitedUnited StatesFateKeysMetsTerroristAlsAlliesCommandersArrestedAl QaedaPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I'd be a different person. And without it, I doubt I'd be here today.” PersonsDifferentMomentsHumorTodayPoliticalDoubtDisappointmentPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the - in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen.” Has BeensDifferentHumorHappensPoliticalPartyLeaderViolenceMiddleInvolvedCallingEastAdministrationMiddle EastPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked.” PeopleThinkingKnowsBelieveImportantDifferentHumorPoliticalCultureI BelieveDifficultResponsibilityMissingPositionBabyMomOughtHopefullyAlternativesFirmChoresPolitical HumorCondomWedlock Author:George W. Bush
“The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them.” DifferentCountryHumorPoliticalStudentsMonthsBackgroundsPolitical HumorYaleDifferent Backgrounds Author:George W. Bush
“So tenaciously should we cling to the world revealed by the Gospel, that were I to see all the Angels of Heaven coming down to me to tell me something different, not only would I not be tempted to doubt a single syllable, but I would shut my eyes and stop my ears, for they would not deserve to be either seen or heard.” WorldShouldDifferentHumorEyeHeavenReligiousDoubtHeardAngelDeserveEarsTemptedSyllables Author:Martin Luther
“That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons.” IfsMadeDifferentReasonHumorWould BeEarthFunnyDisappearLayersBeing CoolCrackersOzoneOzone Layer Author:Mitch Hedberg
“The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.” DifferentHumorFunnyNextNamesPartyCitiesMorningMarkWake UpNew LifeGood Party Author:Vance Bourjaily
“That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.” WorldDifferentHumorFunnyTogetherBeliefReligiousGolfFolksNaziPersecutionHumiliationGoing To WorkBeardTalibanIntellectualismFolk MusicEthosSubjugationRougeReligious PersecutionDifferent BeliefsKhmer Rouge Author:Bill Bailey
“I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.” DifferentStoriesHumorFunnyReadingMy OwnGaySittingMagazinesStationsBusMagicianOwn BusinessMinding My Own Business Author:Dave Attell
“Is there any indication we shouldn't be depressed - are you living on the same planet that I am? Do you ever think that depression might be the reasonable human response to the crap we're going through as a species, meant to propel us into the next evolutionary step, or at least into taking some different course of action so we might survive? Do you ever think that maybe it's the happy people that are really screwed up in the head?” PeopleThinkingHumansDifferentHumorMightActionFunnyCoursesNextStepsPlanetsResponseSpeciesReasonableCrapIndicationLiving OnScrewed UpHappy People Author:Marc Maron
“I'm not a racist. It's really case by case; it's not ethnicity specific. It's just the way I react to things that are different. I think that's normal. Everyone's nervous when they're confronted with things that they don't understand or are different. That's a normal human reaction. It doesn't become racist 'til you say things like, 'Oh, there's a lot of them.'” ThinkingWayHumansDifferentHumorFunnyCasesNormalReactionsNervousRacistEthnicity Author:Marc Maron
“Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.” DifferentHumorHandsKidsFunnyLastsFacesDoorsMaskHalloweenCandyRip Author:Rodney Dangerfield