“An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.” HumorFunnyFieldsReportsTidesPrimitiveTribesLemonsGuineaAnthropologistsField Trip Book:Late night with David Letterman: the book Source: Late night with David Letterman: the book
“You know, if you find a person that you've never seen before getting in a crop-duster that doesn't belong to you, report it.” IfsKnowsPersonsHumorPoliticalReportsCropsPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“We've been able to watch on our television screens sophisticated weaponry find a building; and we've seen dramatic reports from the front where Pulitzer Prize-to-be winning reporters stood up and declared, the United States is attacked, and all that.” StatesHumorAblePoliticalWinningUnitedWatchesUnited StatesFrontsTelevisionBuildingScreensDramaticReportsPrizeSophisticatedReportersStood UpPolitical HumorWeaponry Author:George W. Bush
“According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does.” DoeHumorFunnyGuyDrinkAbuseAlcoholBrandsReportsIrelandBrand NewAlcohol Abuse Author:Conan O'Brien
“You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well... we looked at the receipts."” KnowsWellsWarHumorFunnyWeaponsIncrediblesIraqReportsDo You KnowPersianGulf WarReceiptsPersian Gulf Author:Bill Hicks
“The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.” MenStillsBodyHumorGovernmentFunnyHateLinesAlivePoliceRapIceReportsRapperDead ManVanillaChalkBiggie Author:Chris Rock
“A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.” MenMaySaidHumorFunnyFoundReportsCoveredSauceStrawberriesFlakesSprinklesFound Dead Author:Frank Carson