“Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here, but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.” PeopleKnowsMeanI CanHumorSchoolFunnyStruggleStupidTestsPaintBrilliantPainterAwfulRelateCanvasMasterpieceCrystalsMinusParkinsonParkinson'sYou Re Stupid Author:Daniel Tosh
“You'll hear people say it's racist to test. Folks, it's racist not to test. Because guess who gets shuffled through the system oftentimes? Children whose parents don't speak English as a first language, inner-city kids. It's so much easier to quit on somebody than to remediate.” PeopleFirstsChildrenHumorKidsPoliticalSpeakLanguageParentCitiesEasierTestsFolksQuittingRacistPolitical HumorSpeak EnglishInner City Author:George W. Bush
“I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."” KnowsHumorFunnyAsksMy FriendsTestsAidsDo You KnowKnow MeBrian Author:Mitch Hedberg
“As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.” HumorEyeFunnyBoysTestsGlassesAshamedEssays Author:Woody Allen
“Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.” IfsHumorBigsFunnyWaterPayStudyTomorrowTestsGasCandleElectricityDaddy Author:Chris Rock
“I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.” MenBelieveSaidWholeHumorFunnyDogJokesTestsSeriesDon't BelieveBunchTonightSmarter Author:David Cross
“Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.” HumorFunnyTestsPassingPassingsCongratulationsHivHiv Positive Author:Frankie Boyle
“She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.” HumorFunnyUsedFourFrontsLessonsTestsSeatsDrivers Author:Rodney Dangerfield