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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.”

Thinking Shows Humor Bigs Funny Type Drug Flying Sixty Coincidence Nun Hallucinogenic Drugs

Book:My Point...And I Do Have One

Source: My Point...And I Do Have One

“Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.”

Men Two Humor Funny Type Easier Clothes Suits Buying Depressing Bathing Nerdy Bathing Suits Easier Times

Author:Rita Rudner

“If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.”

Ifs Men Humor Funny Three Serious Type Dinner Salad Lettuce

Author:Rita Rudner

“If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.”

Ifs Humor Funny Missing Type Fingers Nine

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", but then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".”

Ifs Knows Should Humor Funny Together Cutting Arms Type Corn Corn On The Cob

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.”

Humor Funny America White Talking Type Violent

Author:Bill Bailey

“And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".”

World Said Humor Funny Past Type Ten Hearing Aids Brands Mates Twelve Brand New Hearing Aids

Author:Billy Connolly

“Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.”

Humor Funny Type Stores Harvard Liquor Liquor Stores

Author:Chris Rock

“There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok, can we get 8 of those please, give us 8 of those." There's the other one, you know, where you go "Ga... bt... Jesus, WHAT is that?" Very, very occasionally I concede you will hit a subtle one. You know, where you go "Ga... ba... ah, actually that's not that bad, that is. It's quite nice."”

Knows Giving Wells Two Humor Funny Jesus Nice Type Drink Please Wine Subtle

Author:Dylan Moran

“Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!”

Humor Funny Type Offers Toothpaste

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.”

Giving Two Humor Funny Type Fake

Author:Adam Carolla

“How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?”

Trying Persons Real Humor Funny Type Real Life Idols

Author:Natasha Leggero