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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics . . . Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.”

Ifs Way Feels Two Humor Funny Names Party Lord Heard Republican Humorous Democrat Reverse Dams Hoover Hoover Dam

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.”

Heard Humorous Angel

Author:Tom Lehrer

“You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.”

May Heard Dog Humorous Faculty Dean

Author:Alfred Kahn

“You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.”

Inspirational Children Mother Heard Fame Humorous Parenting Motherhood Being Famous Mother And Son Mother Son

Author:Jay Leno

“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.”

Ifs Stories Humor Funny Heard Humorous Witty

Author:Groucho Marx

“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”

Art Funny Remember Forget Heard Positive Fine Humorous Witty Originality Favourite Fine Arts

Author:Laurence J. Peter

“Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.”

Should Humor Funny Father Family Heard Humorous Bases Fatherhood Family Life Ideal Husband Unhappy Family

Book:The Best of Oscar Wilde: Selected Plays and Writings

Source: The Best of Oscar Wilde: Selected Plays and Writings

“The ladies men admire, I've heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light, They'd rather stay at home at night. They do not keep awake 'till three, Nor read erotic poetry. They never sanction the impure, Nor recognize an overture. They shrink from powders and from paints... So far I've had no complaints.”

Men Giving Home Light Night Three Heard Humorous Paint Admire Awake Wicked Candle Complaints Erotic Shrinks Sanctions Powder Stay At Home Ladies Man

Book:Not So Deep as a Well

Source: Not So Deep as a Well

“We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.”

Source: The Complete Sherlock Holmes: All 56 Stories & 4 Novels

“In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems are breaking down, and I thought, What a wonderful thing; perhaps I can make some small contribution to this process, myself.”

Firsts Said I Can School Process Wonderful Heard Humorous High School Down And Contribution They Said Breaking Down Wonderful Things Entropy

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.”

Today Funny Parent Music Heard Grew Grew Up Humorous Notion Silly Meant To Be Were Meant To Be

Book:Fatherhood

Source: Fatherhood

“I've heard Eric Clapner, ... I think it was a wonderful thing that Eric Clapner the musician did...So I think that's the wonderful part about it, but listen - I like Eric Clapner!”

Thinking Wonderful Heard Stupid Musician Humorous Wonderful Things Eric

Author:Joycelyn Elders

“Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!”

People Trying Stills Funny America Heard Havens Humorous Borders Swim Mexico

Book:Bob Hope

Source: Bob Hope