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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hooved rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.”

Years Persons Law Fall Realizing Attitude Mets Ocean Late Humorous Concepts Horse Notion Shoes Enormous Islands Camps Protected Site Rats Tents Camping Poop Wild Horses Atlantic Ocean

Author:Dave Barry

“Back in the late '90s, I put together a humorous newsmagazine program called 'The Awful Truth' for Bravo. We helped one guy get an organ transplant whose insurance company had refused to pay. I thought, if we could save a guy's life in a 10-minute segment on cable, what could we do if we devoted a whole movie to a whole bunch of people?”

People Ifs Whole Together Guy Pay Company Minutes Late Humorous Program Bunch Awful Organs Devoted Cables Insurance Companies Transplants Bravo Organ Transplant

Author:Michael Moore

“Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.”

Source: When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

“Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.”

Want Book Time Three Drink Late Humorous Philosophical Witty Beer Clock Too Late Nausea No Exit

Author:Jean-Paul Sartre

“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”

World Problem New York Late Humorous Witty Unseen

Book:The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

“The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.”

People Way Want Inspirational Children Pay Mistake Growing Up Periods Taxes Late Humorous Parenting Invention Teenager Teens Adolescence Being A Teenager

Author:Judith Martin

“The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.”

Ifs Hard Humor Funny Hate Food Late Humorous Terrorist Flight Planes Meals Beaten Crowded Airline Passengers Noisy Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits