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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.”

Leader Groups Moon Jokes Humorous Wings Notes Careful Divided Spells Ballet Swans Poultry Astounded

Author:Woody Allen

“[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever tried to call them at home before.”

Thinking Home Funny Leader Humorous Russia Soviet Telephones Moscow Brezhnev

Author:Ross Perot

“It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.”

“Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.”

Doe Funny Success Energy Business Leader Stupid Fields Depends Humorous Silly Presentation Funny Business

Book:What shall we wear to this party?: The man in the gray flannel suit twenty years before & after

Source: What shall we wear to this party?: The man in the gray flannel suit twenty years before & after

“If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”

Ifs Thinking Two Funny Form Leader Dog Planets Humorous Assuming Aliens Pet My Dog Telescopes Poop Great Pet Two Lives Dogs And Life

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Author:Winston Churchill

“The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.”

Way Needs Bigs Leader Feet Humorous Army Toes

Author:Bill Murray

“[They let] friendship with the leaders in China obscure our devotion to freedom and democracy when those kids set up in Tiananmen Square, and I think it was wrong.”

Thinking Kids Leader Democracy Stupid Humorous China Devotion Squares Obscure Tiananmen Square

Author:William J. Clinton