“It's hard for your mom to tell you she has an oral fixation and has to have something in her mouth. My step dad is in the kitchen winking at me. You down with OPP, yeah you know me. Exciting is and a special... What? Easy, and why do you know all the words? That's weird.” KnowsHardEasyStepsSpecialMomDadMouthsExcitingYeahKitchenDo You KnowKnow MeYour MomFixationWinkingStep Dad Author:David Spade
“I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'... If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenMindLittlesFactsFacesSportsHurtSimpleCryMomAthleteCornersMy MomNosesDo You KnowShut UpIt HurtsBoxersMind BlowingLittle ManGreatest AthleteOh My Gosh Author:Daniel Tosh
“Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little happens and they snap. But being from a dysfunctional family means nothing rattles me. Hey once you've driven a drunken father to moms' parole hearing, what else is there?” PeopleKnowsMeanLittlesEnoughProblemHappensFatherKnow HowHavensMomNormalCome UpHearingDrivenHandleHeySnapsHad EnoughParole Author:Christopher Titus
“When I was seven, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with my mom. When Jack Nicholson was strapped to the table getting electroshock treatment, my mom burst into tears. She said it reminded her of her life, and I was stunned, because I didn't know my mom had been nominated for an Oscar.” KnowsSaidTearsMomTablesSevenMy MomTreatmentOscarsNestsFlewStunnedCuckoosNicholsonOne Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Author:Christopher Titus
“There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says "We've got a family members of yours under arrest" and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my *Mom*!” KnowsNightMiddleMomMembersMy FamilyPoliceSevenMy MomFamily MembersMiddle Of The Night Author:Christopher Titus
“My mom had this inate ability. Whatever town my mother moved to, the second she walked into town, she would instantly attract the alpha loser of that town. This guy was not a good guy. This guy was half O.J. Simpson and half O.J. Simpson. Scott Peterson sprinkles on the top, a side of Robert Blake. You know, not a good guy.” KnowsMotherGuySidesAbilityHalfMomTownsMovedMy MomLoserThis GuyGood GuyBlakeAlphasSprinkles Author:Christopher Titus
“You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.” IfsKnowsShowsMomSouth Author:Amy Schumer
“I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it and I like being inventive and original. That's the problem with doing a longer set - you can't do every joke that you have because some stuff contradicts other stuff. Even when you know that the audience knows that you're joking and it's not true, you still can't do a joke about your family dying and then later talk about your Mom. I mean you want to keep some kind of cohesive order going.” KnowsWantKindMeanStillsDifferentProblemOrderStuffAudienceComedyDyingStyleMomJokesOriginalsOur FamilyDifferent KindsYour MomTrue You Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“I haven't rebelled yet. I don't know, I think maybe just moving up here (to L.A.) by myself counts. But I never really felt the urge. I was always given so much freedom as a kid. My mom's motto was, 'My trust is yours to lose, so I'll give you every trust in the world. But the second I give you an inch and you take a mile, I'm going to pull it back.'” ThinkingKnowsWorldGivingKidsMovingGivenFeltLosesHavensMomMy MomMilesUrgesInchesMottoMoving Up Author:Cassidy Erin Gifford
“As soon as I was born, my mom said I was humming 'When the Saints Go Marching In,' or something like that, you know? It's in the family. And in that neighborhood [Treme, in New Orleans], I think everybody in the neighborhood has some type of musical influence, even if they don't play instruments or anything. It's the way they talk to you, the way they say your name - it's all musical.” IfsThinkingKnowsWaySaidPlayNamesBornGrowing UpInfluenceMomTypeInstrumentsMusicalSaintMy MomNeighborhoodNew OrleansHummingMusical Influence Author:Troy Andrews
“I am just here to support the President of the United States. President of the United States is our boss, but he is also... you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen, and when you don't it will usually bite you on the ass later on. So, I'm here to support the President.” KnowsFirstsCountryStatesPresidentUnitedUnited StatesSupportMomDadAssBossBitesFirst LadyYour Dad Author:Chris Rock
“No press, no television. If my mom calls and says, 'Did you hear about?' I don't want to know nothing about anything that is going on in relation to music. I shut it all off.” IfsKnowsWantTelevisionMomRelationPressesMy Mom Author:Lady Gaga
“I'm an actress and mom, and I probably don't have enough of an active spiritual life. And I don't know why people run around calling themselves by the names of religions when they don't actually practise them.” PeopleKnowsEnoughRunningSpiritualNamesMomCallingActiveActressesSpiritual LifePractise Author:Uma Thurman
“That's what just hit me: How you really can't have everything. You have to give up the old to get the new. You can't be the child and the mom at the same time. You can't be your young self and your old self at the same time. You can't know what you know now and feel the way you did then. You can't, you can't, you can't.” KnowsWayGivingFeelsChildrenSelfYoungMomGiving UpOld SelfNew You Author:Katherine Center
“It's a little awkward to know that the world is going to see you and your mom argue about stupid things and watch me get grounded...again.” KnowsWorldLittlesWatchesStupidMomArguingAwkwardGroundedYour MomStupid ThingsWatch Me Author:Cheyenne Kimball
“My parents said I'd always been attracted to music from an early age. The classic story is I started singing before I talked. My Mom would play me tapes, and I'd be able to sing them back perfectly. She said my pitch was dead on, but I'd fill in nonsense syllables for all the rest of it. The words would be all garbled, because I didn't know how to talk yet.” KnowsSaidPlayStoriesWould BeAgeAbleParentKnow HowMomSingingMy MomClassicNonsenseTapeSyllables Author:Vienna Teng
“Oh, I've wept. Yeah, I've definitely wept just with the world, you know, how judgmental they are. You know what, I know I'm a good mom.” KnowsWorldKnow HowMomYeahJudgmentalGood Mom Author:Britney Spears
“I'm pretty busy: I'm a working mom and I know a lot about having a hectic schedule, but I think what's really important to me and what's on the top of that list is just making sure that my family stays healthy, especially during flu season.” ThinkingKnowsImportantMomHealthyMy FamilySeasonsBusyListsSchedulesFluHecticWorking MomHectic Schedule Author:Tia Mowry
“Whether it's a professional, academic keeping people out by using certain mystifying language, or technologists presenting their work as incredibly complicated, no one can understand it (especially not "moms," who are always invoked as the ultimate know-nothings, which is incredibly insulting to a whole lot of people).” PeopleKnowsWholeCertainLanguageMomUltimateComplicatedAcademicInsultingPresenting Author:Astra Taylor
“The first concert I ever went to was the Bee Gees. I don't know if you remember the Bee Gees. My mom took me. I was little. But my mom was a big disco fan, and - my mom took me to the Bee Gees. Looking back now, it's pretty embarrassing if your first concert was with your mom.” IfsKnowsFirstsLittlesBigsRememberFansMomMy MomConcertsBeesLooking BackEmbarrassingYour MomDiscoBee Gees Author:Rob Huebel
“I've had and probably still have a lot of bad haircuts. My mom just sent me some pictures - I don't know why she did this - but she sent me some pictures of me when I was probably like 12. I grew up in the D.C. area and I used to wear a Redskins jersey just walking around. I just had kind of a bowl haircut for a long time and no sense of style or personal hygiene.” KnowsKindLongStillsUsedStyleGrewMomWalkingGrew UpLong TimeAreasMy MomBowlsJerseyHaircutsHygieneRedskinsPersonal HygieneBad Haircuts Author:Rob Huebel
“We didn't have a television, so we sat around the table, and me and my sisters and my mom would do these jobs, like, a penny for a piece, you know, these paper jobs. You know, what really saved me as a human today is my sisters and my mom.” KnowsHumansTodayJobsPiecesTelevisionMomPaperTablesMy MomSavedSatMy SisterPennies Author:Riccardo Tisci
“My mom and my sisters were amazing; they always see the good in people. My mom, she doesn't know how to write and read much, but she's one of the most fantastic women I've met in my life.” PeopleKnowsWritingKnow HowMomMetsMy MomFantasticMy Sister Author:Riccardo Tisci
“My Mom played violin and piano when she was growing up and she insisted, and I don't know if you can imagine how uncool it is to play the violin when you're eight and ten years old, but I told my Mom that I would quit every day until I went to high school and I met these other gentlemen who would become Yellowcard, and my friends, and I really fell in love with music and it wasn't just classical music, just submerged in the arts in the school I was in.” IfsKnowsYearsArtPlaySchoolGrowing UpGrowingImagineMomMetsTenHigh SchoolMy FriendsMy MomEightQuittingPianoGentlemanClassical MusicViolinSubmergedUncool Author:Sean Mackin
“I know when we were really little, my mom would say to me, "If you can, the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning, just get quiet and ask God, 'Who is Patricia?' You can feel your own nature and know who you are."” IfsKnowsFeelsFirstsLittlesAsksMorningMomQuietWake UpWho You AreMy Mom Author:Patricia Arquette
“Every time you recall a memory, you're basically making another copy of it and at that same point it is susceptible to new changes and adaptations. So, you know, if you remember from when you were, you know, in second grade and there was Christmas and you got a present from your grandfather and your mom was wearing a red dress, that may or may not all have happened.” IfsKnowsMayRememberMemoriesHappenedMomRedDressesGradesCopiesGrandfatherRecallsAdaptationYour MomSusceptible Author:Pete Docter
“One thing is funny because my grandparents are going to come see the show and my mom was concerned that they wouldn't understand, because so much of it is Internet-based. Our generation specifically really relates to it, because we were the first people to discover the Internet and most of us can maybe navigate the Internet better than our parents can. All this information you could ever possibly know is right at our fingertips, not to mention the fact you can meet anyone!” PeopleKnowsFirstsFactsShowsParentGenerationsOne ThingInformationMomInternetConcernedMy MomRelateGrandparentNavigateOur GenerationFingertips Author:Sarah Steele
“I know that it's very dispiriting for people in their twenties, who expected to graduate from college, get their own apartments, get a job, and move forward with their lives, and in fact are still now living with Mom and Dad, which is challenging for all involved.” PeopleKnowsStillsFactsJobsMovingChallengesCollegeMomDadInvolvedTwentiesExpectedMoving ForwardGraduatesApartmentMom And Dad Author:Anna Quindlen
“My biggest influence is someone I really don't know at all: Tina Fey. Smart, funny, beautiful, self-deprecating, also a mom and a wife.” KnowsSelfBeautifulWifeInfluenceMomSmartFeySelf Deprecating Author:Laura Benanti
“Today, most models don't know the first thing about makeup. My mom taught me that makeup is supposed to enhance my natural beauty, not create a mask.” KnowsFirstsTodayNaturalTaughtMomModelsMy MomMaskMakeup Author:Christina Zilber
“Some of my friends would lie to girls to get them, or do things that - you know, they would cheat on girls. I was just never in the realm of what, you know, what's instilled to me, you know? Yeah, I mean, my mom's a social worker, for God's sakes.” KnowsMeanLyingGirlSocialMomMy FriendsYeahWorkersSakeMy MomRealmsCheatSocial Worker Author:Seth Rogen
“The Daily Show writers are incredibly smart and very well plugged-in but occasionally they would need me for certain specific things, and I'd be like, 'Yeah, I completely know how to do that; I can solve that problem,and then I'd be like, 'Mom?” KnowsNeedsWellsI CanShowsProblemCertainKnow HowMomSmartYeahSolveDaily Show Author:Aasif Mandvi
“Mom is the most unconditionally loving person I will ever know, and she has always supported me on every level.” KnowsPersonsLevelsMomLoving Person Author:Rashida Jones
“I know my mom said as early as she can remember letting me watch TV, my one treat a week when I was like 6 was to stay up and watch 'Saturday Night Live.'” KnowsSaidRememberNightWatchesWeekTvsMomTreatsMy MomSaturdaySaturday NightSaturday Night Live Author:Rashida Jones
“The big difference is, as a man, I can go to a bar at two in the morning and people will be like "He's just a fun guy! That's cool that he can balance all these things." But if you see a person that you know who has two young kids and is a mom, there's no way those perceptions are the same. It's like "Oh, there must be a problem." That's usually what women face.” PeopleIfsKnowsMenWayPersonsI CanTwoProblemBigsKidsFacesYoungGuyFunDifferencesMorningMomBalancePerceptionBars Author:Robert Greene
“My kids make me laugh every day. And they're so supportive. As I get older, they understand those things I worried about - the guilt of being gone - in a way that's so healing for me, when they say, "Mom, we know you love what you do. We love to watch you do what you do."” KnowsWayKidsHealingWatchesLaughingGoneMomGuiltWorriedSupportiveMake Me Laugh Author:Reese Witherspoon
“As any mom knows, having a baby is an extremely creative act and to love and create a baby, it's on par with any other creative act that we could come up with.” KnowsCreativeBabyMomCome UpHaving A Baby Author:Ani DiFranco
“I was going through some stuff regarding my mom and dad. There was 30 years difference [between them], so when you hear the lyric, "Girl I love you / You know I do / And I do not doubt / That you love me too / But you're so young / Your life has just begun", that's what I was wondering. They were married for 44 years.” KnowsYearsYoungGirlStuffDifferencesWonderDoubtLove YouMomDadMarriedMy MomMom And Dad Author:Andy Kim
“Mom used to walk with me for something like two or three miles to get to the day-old bakery. They had those machines where you buy doughnuts, those vending machines with the long johns and doughnuts. We would buy those bagels and pastries because that was our treat. And come back with shopping bags of these sweets, and who knows what was in it? That was what we could afford that could feed that many people.” PeopleKnowsLongTwoUsedThreeWalksSweetMomMachinesTreatsMilesBagsShoppingPastriesDoughnutBagelsBakeriesWalk With MeVending Machines Author:Sandra Cisneros
“You can write songs about your comic books and the girl or boy you sort of know and your mom and dad and it's all right there in front of you.” KnowsWritingBookSongGirlBoysFrontsMomDadComicComic BookYour MomMom And Dad Author:Scott McClanahan
“Like the guy I was dating. White, liberal, educated. I went to meet his family and I think that they probably didn't know they had a problem with it until he walked in with me. And they definitely had issues. Mom had issues with it. Could not, didn't want to see her son. And I don't think she had anything against me. But it was about her son bringing me home. And I felt that for the first time. I was like, 'Wow, that's deep.' It's really simple: I don't fit their picture.” ThinkingKnowsWantFirstsProblemHomeGuyFeltSimpleWhiteIssuesSonMomFitFirst TimeDatingEducatedWow Author:Sanaa Lathan
“[Affordable prices] are important to me. My mother lets me know [if something is too expensive]. With a few dresses, she's, like, "That's too much." "But Mom, it's $59.99." "It's too much." And then I go back and we talk about price points. My family keeps my grounded.” IfsKnowsImportantMotherToo MuchMomMy FamilyLet MeDressesExpensiveGroundedAffordable Author:Eva Mendes
“Of course the Disney movies, you know all the soundtracks, and anything Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire were doing - Singing in the Rain was one of my favorite musicals I used to watch a lot because my mom came from a theatre background.” KnowsUsedCoursesWatchesMomSingingRainMy FavoriteMy MomTheatreBackgroundsGenesSoundtracksSinging In The Rain Author:Jillian Hervey
“You know, you always want to just do your own thing - I mean some people want to be exactly like their parents - Ibut I wanted to do my own thing and I ended up doing a kind of mix of my mom and dad.” PeopleKnowsWantKindMeanWantedParentMy OwnMomDadMy MomMom And Dad Author:Jillian Hervey
“We had all the advantages of being in, you know, the '50s and the '60s, where a one-income household could actually support a family. And mom was around and wanted nothing more than to just, you know, do everything she could for her kids.” KnowsKidsWantedSupportMomAdvantageIncomeHousehold Author:Jill Stein
“After the last screening [of "Selling Isobel" ] an 18-year-old girl came up to me and said, "Oh my God, I'm so naïve." I said, "No, you're not, you're just young." And she's so grateful for having seen it, because she's an actress and from now on she's going to take a friend with her to auditions and let her mom know exactly where she's going. That's a job done right there.” KnowsYearsSaidDoneJobsLastsYoungGirlMomGratefulActressesSellingAuditionsScreeningSo Grateful Author:Frida Farrell
“I want my mom to be able to wear my clothes, I want my older sister to be able to wear my clothes, and the people in my life aren't necessarily built like I am, you know? They're built in a million different beautiful bodies, shapes, and sizes, and so why would I exclude anybody from being able to have it? This is the point.” PeopleKnowsWantDifferentBodyAbleBeautifulMillionsMomShapesClothesBuiltSizeMy MomBeing A MomOlder SisterBeautiful BodyBody Shapes Author:Zendaya
“I hate that blacks and Hispanics are pitted against each other I really do, call me naive, I grew up in an adopted family where my mom is Christian and Caucasian, my dad is Jewish, my sister is Mexican and I don't know, I don't tan so well. I think I'm mostly Irish.” ThinkingKnowsWellsChristianHateGrewMomDadGrew UpI HateMy DadMy MomCall MeMy SisterAdoptedNaiveMexicanCaucasian Author:Andrew Breitbart
“[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler, or Ralph Nader, or anybody who seems like a difficult person to understand, and is therefore not part of the pattern of human behavior. Think about who they were in high school, and they will explain themselves to you. So we got a hold of, like, 50 high-school yearbooks, including my mom's from 1925 or something, and we discovered that they're all the same.” IfsThinkingKnowsWantHumansLooksPersonsSaidSeemsSchoolDifficultLike YouMomBehaviorHigh SchoolIncludingPatternsMy MomHuman BehaviorYearbookHigh School Yearbook Author:P. J. O'Rourke
“I ask you, how would you like your mom, your wife, your daughter to spend $100,000 to go to Harvard or some state school, and go out into the workplace, and you know she's great, and men are getting paid $200 per week more than her? Would that piss you off? What if you lost your job and you stay home crippled while she goes out, and she thinks she's going to get a good job, but someone male with the same level of experience and the same level of education gets paid more than her? You're going to get pissed. Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, I don't want to hear it.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenWantStatesHomeSchoolJobsAsksLostWalksLevelsWifeWeekLike YouMomDaughterPaidMalesShoesMilesWhat IfWorkplaceGood JobHarvardYour MomOur DaughterCrippledYour Daughter Author:Pam Grier