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Psychology Quotes

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Psychology Quotes

“كان الحب بينه وبين تيريزا جميلاً، بكل تأكيد، ولكنه كان متعباً: وجب عليه دائماً أن يخفي أمراً ما، وأن يتكتم، وأن يستدرك، وأن يرفع من معنوياتها، وأن يؤاسيها، وأن يثبت باستمرار حبه لها وأن يتلقى ملامات غيرتها وألمها وأحلامها، وأن يشعر بالذنب، وأن يبرر نفسه وأن يعتذر . . الآن كل التعب تلاشى ولم تبقَ إلا الحلاوة.”

“SCREW CHILDREN! That's the mantra of the world. Instead of burying them with a national debt, shoving them in shitty schools, drugging them if they don't comply, hitting them, yelling at them, indoctrinating them with religion and statism and patriotism and military worship, what if we just did what was right for them? The whole world is built on "screw children", and if we changed that, this would be an alien planet to us.”

“Q. But it seems to me there are circumstances that simply induce one to have negative emotions! A. This is one of the worst illusions we have. We think that negative emotions are produced by circumstances, whereas all negative emotions are in us, inside us. This is a very important point. We always think our negative emotions are produced by the fault of other people or by the fault of circumstances. We always think that. Our negative emotions are in ourselves and are produced by ourselves. There is absolutely not a single unavoidable reason why somebody else's action or some circumstance should produce a negative emotion in me. It is only my weakness. No negative emotion can be produced by external causes if we do not want it. We have negative emotions because we permit them, justify them, explain them by external causes, and in this way we do not struggle with them.”

“If you were born with the ability to change someone’s perspective or emotions, never waste that gift. It is one of the most powerful gifts God can give—the ability to influence.”

“Tom felt his darkness. His father was beautiful and clever, his mother was short and mathematically sure. Each of his brothers and sisters had looks or gifts or fortune. Tom loved all of them passionately, but he felt heavy and earth-bound. He climbed ecstatic mountains and floundered in the rocky darkness between the peaks. He had spurts of bravery but they were bracketed in battens of cowardice.”

“When somebody is massaging your head, you will notice that they tend to leave one spot untouched. You will say, “Why are you leaving the spot where it is itching the most?” The truth is, that spot is itching the most because it is being left out. “Why am I not getting the thing I want the most?” should be rephrased as “I am itching to get this thing because I am not getting it.” The power of a desire lies in the difficulty to fulfil it.”

“Our whole culture is based on the appetite for buying, on the idea of a mutually favorable exchange. Modern man's happiness consists in the thrill of looking at the shop windows, and in buying all that he can afford to buy, either for cash or on installments. He (or she) looks at people in a similar way. For the man an attractive girl—and for the woman an attractive man—are the prizes they are after. 'Attractive' usually means a nice package of qualities which are popular and sought after on the personality market. What specifically makes a person attractive depends on the fashion of the time, physically as well as mentally. During the twenties, a drinking and smoking girl, tough and sexy, was attractive; today the fashion demands more domesticity and coyness. At the end of the nineteenth and the beginning of this century, a man had to be aggressive and ambitious—today he has to be social and tolerant—in order to be an attractive 'package'. At any rate, the sense of falling in love develops usually only with regard to such human commodities as are within reach of one's own possibilities for exchange. I am out for a bargain; the object should be desirable from the standpoint of its social value, and at the same time should want me, considering my overt and hidden assets and potentialities. Two persons thus fall in love when they feel they have found the best object available on the market, considering the limitations of their own exchange values. Often, as in buying real estate, the hidden potentialities which can be developed play a considerable role in this bargain. In a culture in which the marketing orientation prevails, and in which material success is the outstanding value, there is little reason to be surprised that human love relations follow the same pattern of exchange which governs the commodity and the labor market.”

“There is no part of one’s beliefs about oneself which cannot be modified by sufficiently powerful psychological techniques. There is nothing about oneself which cannot be taken away or changed. The proper stimuli can, if correctly applied, turn communists into fascists, saints into devils, the meek into heroes, and vice-versa. There is no sovereign sanctuary within ourseles which represents our real nature. There is nobody at home in the internal fortress. Everything we cherish as our ego, everything we believe in, is just what we have cobbled together out of the accident of our birth and subsequent experiences. With drugs, brainwashing, and other techniques of extreme persuasion, we can quite readily make a man a devotee of a different ideology, the patriot of a different country, or the follower of a different religion.”

“Today we are living the grotesque spectacle of the poisoning of the earth by the nineteenth-century hero system of unrestrained material production. This is perhaps the greatest and most pervasive evil to have emerged in all of history, and it may even eventually defeat all of mankind. Still there are no "twisted" people whom we can hold responsible for this.”

“What good is your reality, when justice fails and dishonesty is glossed over and the ones who keep faith suffer .... What good is your reality then?" " .... I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice .... and I never promised you peace or happiness .... The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie...and a bore, too!”

“لم يكن صراخها لهاثاً ولم يكن تأوّهاً، بل صراخ حقيقي. كانت تصرخ بصوت عالٍ إلى درجة أن توماس أبعد رأسه عن وجهها وكأن صوتها الزاعق سيثقب طبلة أذنه. لم يكن هذا الصراخ تعبيراً عن الشبق فالشبق هو التعبئة القصوى للحواس: نراقب الآخر بانتباه بالغ ونسمع أدنى أصواته. لكن صراخ تيريزا كان بخلاف ذلك، يريد أن يُرهق الحواس ويمنعها من الرؤية والسمع. كانت المثالية الساذجة لحبّها هي التي تزعق في داخلها راغبة في إلغاء كل التناقضات، وفي إلغاء ثنائية الروح والجسد، وحتّى في إلغاء الزمن.”

“إذا كان الهياج الجنسي آلية يتسلى بها الخالق، فإن الحب، خلافاً لذلك لا ينتمي إلا إلينا ويمكننا من خلاله الإفلات من قبضة الخالق. فالحب هو حريتنا. الحب هو ما وراء كل «ما ليس منه بد».”

“هل صحيح أنه يجب علينا أن نرفع صوتنا حين يُسكت أحدهم رجلاً؟ نعم.”

“Be careful not to appear obsessively intellectual. When intelligence fills up, it overflows a parody.”

“If I were to ask you to open two novels, and compare the circumstances of each protagonist, asking you to chose who is “better,” you may find this ridiculous. You may tell me these characters have been forged in two different worlds, around different people, and they each have their own inherent purposes. They’re traveling different paths, and they’ll traverse their paths at different speeds, as their meant to. Great. So as such, never again compare yourself to another.”

“تذكر عندها أسطورة أفلاطون الشهيرة «المأدبة»: ففي السابق كان البشر مزدوجي الجنس فقسّمهم الله إلى أنصاف تهيم عبر العالم مفتشة بعضها عن بعض. الحب هو تلك الرغبة في إيجاد النصف الآخر المفقود من أنفسنا.”

“في سفر التكوين، عهد الله إلى الإنسان بالسيادة على الحيوانات. وبإمكاننا أن نفسر ذلك قائلين إن الله قد أعار هذه السلطة له. الإنسان ليس مالك الكوكب بل وكيله وعليه ذات يوم أن يقدم كشفاً لحسابه. ديكارت ذهب أبعد من ذلك في هذا المنحى: جعل الإنسان «سيد الطبيعة ومالكها». وهو منطقي جداً بالتأكيد فيما يتعلق بنفيه لوجود الروح عند الحيوانات. فحسب ما يقول ديكارت، الإنسان هو المالك والسيد فيما الحيوان ليس إلا مسيّراً وآلة حية، أو ما يمسيه بال «ماشينا-أنيماتا». عندما يئن الحيوان فالأمر لا يتعلق بشكوى بل بصرير تطلقه آلة تسير بشكل سيئ. فحين تئز عجلة عربة فهذا لا يعني أن العربة تتألم بل لأنها تحتاج إلى تشحيم. وبالطريقة ذاتها يجب أن يُفسّر نحيب الحيوان. ويجب ألا نشفق على كلب يُشرَّح وهو حيّ في مختبر.”

“زد على ذلك أن هذه الأحلام، إلى فصاحتها، كانت جميلة. لقد أغفل فرويد هذا الجانب في نظريته عن الأحلام. فالحلم ليس فقط بلاغاً (بلاغاً مرموزاً عند الاقتضاء) بل هو أيضاً نشاط جمالي ولعبة للخيال. وهذه اللعبة هي بحد ذاتها قيمة. فالحلم هو البرهان على أن التخيل وتصوّر ما ليس له وجود، هو إحدى الحاجات الأساسية للإنسان، وهنا يكمن أصل الخطر الخادع الكامن في الحلم. فلو أن الحلم ليس جميلاً، لأمكننا نسيانه بسهولة. لذلك، كانت تيريزا ترجع باستمرار إلى أحلامها وتعيدها في مخيلتها وتختلق منها أساطير. أمّا توماس فكان يعيش في كنف السحر المنوّم، سحر الجمال الأليم لأحلام تيريزا.”

“كان بإمكان آنّا أن تنهي حياتها بطريقة أخرى مختلفة تماماً. ولكن حافز المحطة والموت، هذا الحافز الذي لا يُنسى لاقترانه ببداية الحب، كان يجذبها في لحظات اليأس، بجماله القائم. فالإنسان ينسج حياته على غير علم منه وفقاً لقوانين الجمال حتى في لحظات اليأس الأكثر قتامة. لا يمكن إذاً أن يأخذ أحد على رواية افتتانها بالاتفاق الغامض للصدف. (مثلاً، تلاقي فرونسكي وآنّـا والرصيف والموت أو تلاقي بيتهوڤن وتوماس وتيريزا وكأس الكونياك). لكن يمكن أن يؤخذ بِحقٍّ على الإنسان حين يُعمي عينيه عن هذه الصدفْ فيحرم بالتالي حياته من بُعد الجمال.”