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Betty Friedan

Betty Friedan Books

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Fountain of Age

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“We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have never grown to full humanity themselves. If the mother is at fault, why isn't it time to break the pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to grow up and live their own lives? There never will be enough Prince Charmings or enough therapists to break that pattern now. It is society's job, and finally that of each woman alone. For it is not the strength of the mothers that is at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for "femininity." Our society forces boys, insofar as it can, to grow up, to endure the pains of growth, to educate themselves to work, to move on. Why aren't girls forced to grow up - to achieve somehow the core of self that will end the unnecessary dilemma, the mistaken choice between femaleness and humanness that is implied in the feminine mystique?”

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Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own. There is no other way. But a job, any job, is not the answer—in fact, it can be part of the trap. Women who do not look for jobs equal to their actual capacity, who do not let themselves develop the lifetime interests and goals which require serious education and training, who take a job at twenty or forty to “help out at home” or just to kill extra time, are walking, almost as surely as the ones who stay inside the housewife trap, to a nonexistent future.”

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Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“First, she must unequivocally say “no” to the housewife image. This does not mean, of course, that she must divorce her husband, abandon her children, give up her home. She does not have to choose between marriage and career; that was the mistaken choice of the feminine mystique. In actual fact, it is not as difficult as the feminine mystique implies, to combine marriage and motherhood and even the kind of lifelong personal purpose that once was called “career.” It merely takes a new life plan—in terms of one’s whole life as a woman. The first step in that plan is to see housework for what it is—not a career, but something that must be done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Once a woman stops trying to make cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, “something more,” she can say “no, I don’t want a stove with rounded corners, I don’t want four different kinds of soap.” She can say “no” to those mass daydreams of the women’s magazines and television, “no” to the depth researchers and manipulators who are trying to run her life. Then, she can use the vacuum cleaner and the dishwasher and all the automatic appliances, and even the instant mashed potatoes for what they are truly worth—to save time that can be used in more creative ways.”

Feminism
Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“There is only one way for women to reach full human potential—by participating in the mainstream of society, by exercising their own voice in all the decisions shaping that society. For women to have full identity and freedom, they must have economic independence. Breaking through the barriers that had kept them from the jobs and professions rewarded by society was the first step, but it wasn’t sufficient. It would be necessary to change the rules of the game to restructure professions, marriage, the family, the home. The manner in which offices and hospitals are structured, along the rigid, separate, unequal, unbridgeable lines of secretary/executive, nurse/doctor, embodies and perpetuates the feminine mystique. But the economic part would never be complete unless a dollar value was somehow put on the work done by women in the home, at least in terms of social security, pensions, retirement pay. And housework and child rearing would have to be more equally shared by husband, wife, and society. Equality and human dignity are not possible for women if they are not able to earn. When the young radical kids came into the movement, they said it was “boring” or “reformist” or “capitalist co-option” to place so much emphasis on jobs and education. But very few women can afford to ignore the elementary economic facts of life. Only economic independence can free a woman to marry for love, not for status or financial support, or to leave a loveless, intolerable, humiliating marriage, or to eat, dress, rest, and move if she plans not to marry. But the importance of work for women goes beyond economics. How else can women participate in the action and decisions of an advanced industrial society unless they have the training and opportunity and skills that come from participating in it?”

Feminism
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“Why should anyone raise an eyebrow because a latter-day Einstein’s wife expects her husband to put aside that lifeless theory of relativity and help her with the work that is supposed to be the essence of life itself: diaper the baby and don’t forge to rinse the soiled diaper in the toilet paper before putting it in the diaper pail, and then wax the kitchen floor.”

FeminismBetty FriedanThe Feminine Mystique
Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“What Friedan gave to the world was, "the problem that has no name." She not only named it but dissected it. The advances of science, the development of labor-saving appliances, the development of the suburbs: all had come together to offer women in the 1950s a life their mothers had scarcely dreamed of, free from rampant disease, onerous drudgery, noxious city streets. But the green lawns and big corner lots were isolating, the housework seemed to expand to fill the time available, and polio and smallpox were replaced by depression and alcoholism. All that was covered up in a kitchen conspiracy of denial... [i]nstead the problem was with the mystique of waxed floors and perfectly applied lipstick.”

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Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“Aging is not "lost youth" but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

AgeOpportunityLostWomenInspiringStageStrengthYouthAgingOld AgeUpliftingBirthdayOld PeopleGetting OldGetting OlderYoung AgeGrowing OldAgeingLost FriendshipFunny AgingYoung And OldYouth And Old AgeAge And YouthAging GracefullySenior CitizenStages Of LifeStaying YoungInspirational AgeAging ProcessLost YouthGrowing Old GracefullyFeminine MystiqueWise AgeAge Of 20Aging Population
Author:Betty Friedan
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“American housewives have not had their brains shot away, nor are they schizophrenic in the clinical sense. But if ... the fundamental human drive is not the urge for pleasure or the satisfaction of biological needs, but the need to grow and to realize one's full potential, their comfortable, empty, purposeless days are indeed cause for a nameless terror.”

IfsNeedsHumansGrowsCausesRealizingPleasureBrainComfortableShotsEmptyFundamentalsTerrorSatisfactionUrgesHousewifeFull PotentialNamelessSchizophrenicClinicals
Book:The Feminine Mystique
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“What had really caused the women's movement was the additional years of human life. At the turn of the century women's life expectancy was forty-six; now it was nearly eighty. Our groping sense that we couldn't live all those years in terms of motherhood alone was "the problem that had no name." Realizing that it was not some freakish personal fault but our common problem as women had enabled us to take the first steps to change our lives.”

YearsFirstsHumansProblemTurnsNamesTermRealizingCommonStepsOur LivesCenturyMovementSixFaultsMotherhoodHuman LifeFortyFirst StepsEightyExpectancyLife Expectancy
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“Men, also, have in them enormous capacities that they have to repress and fear in themselves, living up to this obsolete and brutal man-eating, bear-killing, Ernest Hemingway, crewcut Prussian sadistic, napalm all the children in Vietnam, bang-bang you're dead, image of masculinity, the image of all powerful masculine superiority that is absolute.”

MenChildrenPowerfulBearsEatingCapacityAbsolutesKillingEnormousVietnamBrutalSuperiorityMasculinityMasculineBangsObsoleteSadisticNapalm
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“There needs to be bolder thinking, ... on how to measure the quality of life of men and women in the work force. Currently, success is measured by material advancements. We need to readjust the definition of success to account for time outside of work and satisfaction of life, not just the dollars-and-cents bottom line.”

ThinkingMenNeedsForceLinesQualityMaterialsMen And WomenAccountsDollarsBottomDefinitionsSatisfactionCentsBottom LineAdvancementQuality Of LifeDefinition Of SuccessSuccess Is MeasuredSuccess Is Measured By
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“There's increasing consciousness that a "command and control" style of management which one associates with a male model isn't necessarily what works anymore, especially with small to medium sized companies. There's increasing evidence that a more flexible management style, where responsibility is distributed up and down the line, is what works best. And that kind of management style is one that will allow individual workers more flexibility - men and women.”

MenKindIndividualLinesConsciousnessResponsibilityCompanyStyleModelsEvidenceMen And WomenManagementWorkersMalesCommandMediumsAssociatesFlexibilityFlexibleUp And DownCommand And Control
Author:Betty Friedan
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“There's no question that the black middle class has benefited greatly by the civil rights movement. But there is a large black underclass that does not have access to jobs. If there's no clear road to income and status except crime, we should expect social problems. You can't solve this problem without addressing the economic issues, and the same is true with gender.”

IfsShouldDoeProblemJobsSocialBlackClassIssuesClearRightsEconomicMiddleCrimeMovementGenderSolveAccessIncomeCivil RightsMiddle ClassCivil Rights MovementSocial ProblemsEconomic Issues
Author:Betty Friedan
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“The problem lay buried, unspoken for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban housewife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night, she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question - "Is this all?"”

YearsMindMadeStatesProblemAsksHouseUnitedUnited StatesWifeMiddleCenturyStrangeBedLongingLaysSilentBuriedYearning20th CenturyGroceriesDissatisfactionStirringUnspokenAmerican WomanMystiqueBrowniesFeminine Mystique
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“In almost every professional field, in business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as second-class citizens. It would be a great service to tell girls who plan to work in society to expect this subtle, uncomfortable discrimination-tell them not to be quiet, and hope it will go away, but fight it. A girl should not expect special privileges because of her sex, but neither should she "adjust" to prejudice and discrimination.”

ShouldArtStillsWould BeGirlFightingSexClassPlansSpecialFieldsCitizensQuietPrejudicePrivilegeDiscriminationTreatedUncomfortableSubtleGoing AwayArt And ScienceGreat ServiceSecond Class CitizensFeminine MystiqueTell A Girl
Author:Betty Friedan
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“There are some die-hard male chauvinist pigs and there are some Neanderthal women who are threatened by equality - but the great majority, polls say 65% to 75% of women of America, of all ages, absolutely identify with the complete agenda of the women's movement: equal opportunity for jobs, education, professional training, the right to control your own body - your own reproductive process, freedom of choice, child care-the whole agenda.”

ChildrenHardWholeBodyCareAgeJobsAmericaDiesChoicesOpportunityProcessMovementEqualTrainingMajorityMalesAgendasPigsThreatenedPollsFreedom Of ChoiceEqual OpportunityChild CareNeanderthalsProfessional TrainingMale Chauvinist
Author:Betty Friedan
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“I'm against suppression of pornography. If you suppress guns - yes; if you want to suppress poverty - yes. These are the obscenities, the real brutalization of people. I am almost more outraged by ads for blue jeans or cars that sort of blatantly depict women not only as sex objects, but women that look younger than the age of consent, looking like they've just been raped or asking to be raped-utterly passive sex objects.”

PeopleIfsWantLooksRealAgeSexPovertyCarObjectsGunAskingBlueAdsPassiveConsentJeansPornographySuppressionOutragedObscenityBlue JeansAge Of Consent
Author:Betty Friedan
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“Having expressed the rage against the laws and conditions that oppressed them - maybe even excess anger in the beginning was directed at men they came in contact with, because it had been pent up too long - women now come from a new position of easier, more comfortable self-affirmation and empowerment. Women are given to tolerance and are more able to love. I hope it happens also to men.”

MenLongSelfHappensAbleLawGivenConditionsPositionEasierComfortableEmpowermentRageToleranceContactExcessOppressedAffirmationSelf AffirmationNew Position
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“Certain signs, some of them visible to the layman as well as the scientist, indicate that we have been watching an ice age approach for some time without realizing what we are seeing... Scientists predict that it will cause great snows which the world has not seen since the last ice age thousands of years ago.”

WorldYearsWellsHas BeensAgeLastsCertainCausesRealizingSeeingApproachYears AgoScientistEnvironmentalSnowIceVisibleExtremistIce AgeLayman
Author:Betty Friedan
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