“Playboy magazine announced that they are going to support the troops by sending them emails from Playboy playmates. After hearing this the U.S. troops said 'Just our luck, we get emails from playmates, but we're embedded with Geraldo.'” SaidSupportLuckHearingMagazinesTroopsEmailEmbeddedPlayboySupport The TroopsPlayboy Magazine Author:Conan O'Brien
“The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'” NeedsSaidJobsPresidentCaliforniaPresident ObamaTurkeysPardonFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving GreetingsThanksgiving WishesHappy Thanksgiving WishesTurkey DayHappy Thanksgiving Greetings Author:Conan O'Brien
“Barack Obama was speaking to a Jewish group, and he told them that his name Barack is the same as the Jewish word 'baruch,' which means one who's blessed. That's what he said, yeah. Obama had a harder time explaining his middle name, Hussein. Things got quiet there.” MeanSaidNamesGroupsMiddleQuietHarderYeahBlessedBarackHusseinExplaining Author:Conan O'Brien
“Nietzsche famously said "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.” SaidStressStrongerMakes You Stronger Author:Conan O'Brien
“A comic book publisher says he's trying to increase voter turnout in the presidential election by publishing comic books about John McCain and Barack Obama. Yeah, the publisher said that the election comic books are targeted at first-time voters and long-time virgins.” TryingFirstsLongSaidBookLong TimeFirst TimeIncreaseElectionYeahComicBarackPresidentialVotersPublishingComic BookVirginsPublishersMccainPresidential ElectionVoter Turnout Author:Conan O'Brien
“In the news, Chinese president Hu Jintao says that now that Barack Obama has been elected, he is looking forward to taking the relationship between China and the U.S. to the next level. That's what he said. Yeah. Then he said, 'Who knows, maybe we'll even go all the way.'” KnowsWayHas BeensSaidNextPresidentLevelsNewsYeahChinaBarackChineseLooking ForwardNext Level Author:Conan O'Brien
“CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez.” SaidRunningBlameJewCnn Author:Conan O'Brien
