“Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So it's very important tonight that I express that everybody who works at our comedy show, all of us are terribly sad for the families and people of France and anybody in the world tonight who now has to think twice before making a joke. It's not the way it's supposed to be.” PeopleThinkingWorldWayImportantShowsTodayDiesComedyJokesTragedySupposed To BeFranceParisTonightThink TwiceComedy Shows Author:Conan O'Brien
“Sony has canceled the big Seth Rogen movie, 'The Interview.' North Koreans hacked their email so Sony said, 'Now we can't show anybody the movie.' I'm disappointed. I think this is the wrong thing to do. And I hear in the film Meryl Streep is great as Kim Jong Un.” ThinkingSaidShowsBigsFilmThings To DoInterviewsDisappointedEmailNorth KoreaWrong ThingsKoreanKimSonyHackedNorth Korean Author:Conan O'Brien
“If Sony's not going to show 'The Interview,' that's it. No more North Korean movies for me.” IfsShowsInterviewsNorth KoreaKoreanSonyNorth Korean Author:Conan O'Brien
“This week a group of activists, known as Anonymous, hacked the Twitter account of the KKK. The KKK is furious. They said Anonymous is just a bunch of cowards who don't have the courage to show their faces.” SaidShowsFacesKnownGroupsWeekAccountsBunchCowardActivistThey SaidFuriousHackedKkk Author:Conan O'Brien
“The Republican Party had a big day in yesterday's midterm elections and now controls the House and Senate. And don't ask me how this happened, but the Republican Party also gained control of three seats in our show's band.” ShowsBigsThreeAsksHousePartyHappenedRepublicanBandElectionYesterdayAsk MeSeatsSenateRepublican PartyMidtermsMidterm Elections Author:Conan O'Brien
“Don't thank your parents. If you were raised in a nurturing environment, you wouldn't be in show business. Don't say, 'Wow, this is heavy.' Of course it's heavy. It contains the shattered dreams of four other people.” PeopleIfsShowsDreamFilmCoursesParentEnvironmentFourHollywoodRaisedHeavyWowShow BusinessNurturingShatteredShattered Dreams Author:Conan O'Brien
“So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.” MadeShowsHomeKidsFunnyWaitingGoldAthleteChinaChineseGentlemanOlympicsMedalGold MedalsLadies And GentlemenLondon Olympics Author:Conan O'Brien
“A group of psychologists say they have discovered twenty-three different body language indicators that show whether or not a person is lying. If you would like to see all twenty-three at the same time, they recommend taking a guided tour of the White House” IfsPersonsDifferentShowsBodyLyingThreeHouseLanguageWhiteGroupsTwentiesWhite HousePsychologistBody LanguageIndicators Author:Conan O'Brien
“In Iraq, four American soldiers have been arrested and charged with stealing a million dollars cash. After hearing about it the Fox network announced plans for a new reality show called 'GI Joe Millionaire.'” Has BeensShowsRealityMillionsFourPlansDollarsSoldierIraqHearingStealingCashFoxesMillionaireArrestedMillion DollarsReality ShowsAmerican SoldierGis Author:Conan O'Brien
“After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.” Has BeensShowsSidesAnimalPlanetsHairTrumpRemarksInsultingBright SideNbc Author:Conan O'Brien
“Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen.” NeedsSaidShowsTodayPresidentTrumpYesterdayCharlieGaryEndorsementsRandyGreat PresidentsQuaid Author:Conan O'Brien
“Critics say it's illegal for Donald Trump to run for president while hosting a TV show. It's also illegal to run for president if your hair wasn't born in this country.” IfsCountryShowsRunningPresidentBornTvsHairTrumpCriticsIllegalTv Shows Author:Conan O'Brien
“It was reported today that U.S. military bases will not show 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, during interrogations, U.S. troops will continue to show 'Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.'” ShowsTodayMilitaryMountainBasesTroopsInterrogationBrokeback MountainMilitary BasesDeucesGigolo Author:Conan O'Brien
“It was reported that Anna Kournikova is coming out with her own brand of deodorant. Apparently, the ads show Kournikova holding up her deodorant and saying now only her tennis game stinks.” ShowsGamesBrandsTennisComing OutAdsStinkAnnaDeodorantTennis Game Author:Conan O'Brien
“The other day John McCain appeared on the show 'The View,' and one of the hosts accused McCain of being a liar. Yeah, she may have a point, because McCain started the interview by saying, 'Ladies, you look beautiful.'” LooksMayShowsBeautifulViewsYeahInterviewsLiarsHostAccusedMccainYou Look Beautiful Author:Conan O'Brien
“California had its first medical marijuana job fair. Over 2 million people meant to show up.” PeopleFirstsShowsJobsMillionsFairsMedicalCaliforniaMarijuanaMedical Marijuana Author:Conan O'Brien
“Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second.” PeopleWayShowsDreamRegretMonthsSevenMy WayComedianTonightSeven Months Author:Conan O'Brien
“I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage.” IfsHeartShowsWould BeHoursMy HeartBandDesksCages Author:Conan O'Brien
“A new poll shows that Tiger Woods' popularity has dropped from 85 percent to 33 percent. President Obama's popularity is also at 33 percent, but Tiger had more fun getting there.” ShowsFunPresidentPercentWoodsPresident ObamaPopularityTigersPolls Author:Conan O'Brien
“First Lady Michelle Obama appears on 'Sesame Street' to celebrate the show's 40th anniversary. It's going to be a big episode. Yes, sources say the episode gets a little tense when Ernie and Bert ask the first lady why her husband's dragging his feet on gay marriage.” FirstsLittlesShowsBigsAsksFeetStreetsSourceGayHusbandCelebrateEpisodesGay MarriageTenseFirst LadySesame StreetWhy Her40th Anniversary Author:Conan O'Brien
“Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'” ShowsPresidentCallingRadioYesterdayMessStationsPresident ObamaHusseinKenyaRadio StationsPranks Author:Conan O'Brien
