“Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes and the guy he was up against got killed in a mysterious boating accident. The boat was in a warehouse.” MenYearsGuyMillionsVoteAccidentsRussiaBoatMysteriousPutinWarehouse Author:Conan O'Brien
“Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught doping is almost as embarrassing as getting caught being a champion race walker.” MenSaidFunnyRaceHe ManCaughtChampionOfficialsOlympicsEmbarrassingWalkersLondon OlympicsDoping Author:Conan O'Brien
“An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and saying, 'What are we fighting for, man?'” MenFunnyFightingFighterOfficialsMarijuanaOlympicsStoppingTestingSuspiciousJudoLondon Olympics Author:Conan O'Brien
“Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled about the ruling all she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics.” MenNeedsFirstsSaidFunnyFemaleAthleteOlympicsRulingArabiaSaudi ArabiaSaudisScarvesLondon OlympicsFemale Athlete Author:Conan O'Brien
“A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama masks came and bailed the bank out, so everything is fine.” MenTwoGuyPresidentFineMaskPresident ObamaTwo Guys Author:Conan O'Brien
“Let’s just agree any group of 3 or more handsome British men should be referred to as a 'cumberbatch.'” MenShouldGroupsAgreeBritishHandsome Author:Conan O'Brien
“In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out.” MenYearsReasonPairsBathroomMake Out Author:Conan O'Brien
“According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found that most women would occasionally like to be paid as much as men for doing the same job.” MenJobsFoundStudyPicksPaidChecks Author:Conan O'Brien
“The head of the AFL-CIO endorsed John Kerry, saying, 'The time has come to come behind one man, one leader, one candidate.' Then he said, 'And until we find that man, we will endorse John Kerry.'” MenSaidBehindsLeaderCandidatesOne ManJohn KerryAflCio Author:Conan O'Brien
“Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo Rivera.” MenMeanHatedHidingAfghanistanPakistanBin LadenOsama Bin LadenHiding Out Author:Conan O'Brien
“Macy's has severed ties with Donald Trump and no longer will carry his men's wear collection. From now on, men who want to look like Donald Trump will have to hunt and kill their own hair piece.” MenWantLooksPiecesHairTrumpTiesCollectionsHuntsMacy's Author:Conan O'Brien
“Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands.” MenRunningBlackTrumpYesterdayAfrican AmericanRacistOne TimeApprenticeErrands Author:Conan O'Brien
“Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were watching 'The Bachelorette.'” MenRepublicanDebateCaliforniaTonightOne WomanBachelorette Author:Conan O'Brien
“Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma.” MenShotsMedicalOld ManMarijuanaUsersFirearmsLobbyingMedical MarijuanaGlaucoma Author:Conan O'Brien
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'” MenWantInspirationalHumorFunnyWomenStudySkillsPostsComedianAmusingFunny RelationshipDuhFunny Comedian Author:Conan O'Brien
“In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.” MenTroubleBreathsPoliceWestBlowYesterdayStealingCatchingArrestedDollsVirginiaWest Virginia Author:Conan O'Brien
“CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'” MenSaidCrazyNewsDictatorSaddamHusseinAnchorsCrazy ManNews Anchors Author:Conan O'Brien
“The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.” MenFirstsEyeFunnySexWittyBreastsHer Eyes Author:Conan O'Brien
“Breast feeding activists plan to descend on Washington for a public breast feeding demonstration. Also descending on Washington, thousands of men saying, 'What? I'm looking at the baby.'” MenPlansBabyBreastsActivistFeedingDemonstrationDescending Author:Conan O'Brien
“Yesterday, voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That's right, people in Maine believe marriage should be a sacred institution between a really stoned man and a really stoned woman.” PeopleMenShouldBelieveStatesGayInstitutionsSacredMedicalYesterdayVotersMarijuanaGay MarriageMaineMedical Marijuana Author:Conan O'Brien
“Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because he was the only candidate who could say the words, 'George W. Bush think tank' with a straight face.” ThinkingMenFacesPresidentHe ManFormerPresidentialCandidatesTanksDallasPresident George W BushStraight Face Author:Conan O'Brien
“A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV.” MenGivingHandsWould BeFunnySexTelevisionWillingTvsGiving UpSurveysRemote Control Author:Conan O'Brien
