“President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.” JobsLastsPresidentMonthsYeahWorkersCampaignsPresident BushNew Job Author:Craig Kilborn
“You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'” MaySaidPresidentWaterHeardMarsPresident BushNasa Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'” SaidSidesPresidentIssuesBoth SidesPresident BushJohn Kerry Author:Craig Kilborn
“As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.” KnowsWayFightingReadingPresidentKnow HowNiceSecurityMonthsSummerDemocratExpectedRelaxWarningVacationConventionsNational SecurityBostonPresident BushSmirkFighting BackGoing On Vacation Author:Craig Kilborn
“The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.” FactsPresidentHurtNumbersPrisonScandalPollsPresident BushConcessionsSmirk Author:Craig Kilborn
“With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.” HandsFacesPresidentResponsibilityRecordsCuttingChaosIraqEnormousGasWeekendPresidencyDistractedPresident BushBicycleGravelGas PricesJust Kids Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.” MenPresidentMoonDollarsMissionsBillionsMarsSlogansPresident BushDrills Author:Craig Kilborn
“In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.” RememberPresidentSeeingMetsTroopsPresident BushLouisianaNational Guard Author:Craig Kilborn
“In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy.” GuyPresidentPercentThreatSizeIraqHeyPollsPresident BushMissilesExaggerated Author:Craig Kilborn
“As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.” PresidentMonthsSixElectionDemocraticBottomRoutineSailSix MonthsPresident BushEmergingNominationsJohn KerryElection DayNational Guard Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush is in the hot seat over Iraqi pre-war intelligence. Remember the good ol' days when the only thing the president was trying to cover up was a stain?” TryingWarRememberPresidentHotSeatsPresident BushStainsCover UpsGood Ol Days Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.” MaySaidWarPresidentRecordsCandidatesVietnamPresident Bush Author:Craig Kilborn
“Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'” LooksHousePresidentWhiteDollarsDemocratHeyBudgetsWhite HouseSaddamDeficitHusseinPresident BushBudget Deficit Author:Craig Kilborn
“As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.” WarFightingPresidentMonthsCongressIraqBudgetsPresident BushSubscription Author:Craig Kilborn
“New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.” KnowsGivingPresidentCuttingTaxesDollarsBillionsPlanningSaddamHusseinCastlesRumorPresident BushTax CutsLibyaNukes Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.” KnowsMenWorldWarEarthLastsNightPresidentPowerfulLeaderSupportCallingPicksIraqMost PowerfulLast NightPresident BushYellingWorld LeaderPowerful Man Author:Craig Kilborn
“It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.” WarPresidentStruggleBillsClintonExcuseLiarsTerrificPresident Bush Author:Craig Kilborn
“Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.” MadeNightPresidentCuttingBrokenHabitPromiseClintonCampaignsSenatorsCarbonAttackingPresident BushCouchesEmissionsCarbon DioxideBreaking PromisesCarbon Dioxide Emissions Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.” HumansWarPresidentIraqMessFranceResolutionSaddamPresident BushShieldsJerry Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'” TryingWarTodayJobsPresidentNumbersEconomicVictoryPresident Bush Author:Craig Kilborn
