“Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.” TodayWifePlansFoolGoldProofCardsDeficitWipeJohn KerryFool Proof Author:Craig Kilborn
“Our top story, in 'Threat Matrix Reloaded' news ... Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Muller held a press conference today to announce that Al Qaeda is planning attacks somewhere inside the United States at sometime in the future. So go about your normal lives, but with a vague sense of foreboding.” StatesStoriesTodayUnitedUnited StatesDirectorsNormalNewsPressesThreatPlanningAlsVagueConferencesFbiAttorneyAl QaedaNormal LifePress ConferencesForeboding Author:Craig Kilborn
“Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?” NeedsDoeTodaySecurityTerrorMilesChiefsYellowTapeTomsOrangeHomelandRidgesHomeland SecurityDuct Tape Author:Craig Kilborn
“Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.” MenStoriesTodayFunnySuccessfulDogStrangeHe ManNewsMedicalRelatedOrgansPakistanChasingKeithTransplantsMailmanOrgan Transplant Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'” TryingWarTodayJobsPresidentNumbersEconomicVictoryPresident Bush Author:Craig Kilborn
