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Darynda Jones

Darynda Jones Books

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“We all have a certain knowledge about how the universe works. And when someone comes along and challenges that knowledge, we don’t know how to deal with it. We aren’t hardwired that way. It’s difficult to question everything you’ve ever thought to be true. So, like I said, it’s not your fault. You can believe me or not, but whichever you choose, you’re the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely, grasshopper,”

KnowledgeTrueConsequencesChooseOpen Your EyesDeal With It
Book:First Grave on the Right
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“So, where are you from?" Agent Carson asked Reyes. "Originally?" I whirled around to face him again, this time pinning him with a warning glare. Carson was an FBI agent, but I was all about stealth. Surely she wouldn't pick up on my silent threat. He studied my mouth, not the least bit worried about my warning glare, then said at last, "Here and there." I relaxed against the seatback. He didn't say hell. Thank God he didn't say hell. It was always hard to explain to friends how, exactly, one's fiance was born and raised in the eternal flames of damnation. How his father was, in fact, public enemy number one. And how he escaped from hell and was born on earth as a human to be with his true love. As romantic as it all sounded, it was difficult to articulate without garnering a visit from men with butterfly nets.”

HellWhere Are You From
Book:Seventh Grave and No Body
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“Should I leave you two alone?" he asked, changing the subject. "He's taken," I said, accepting the fact that forgiving himself was something Reyes didn't do. "Osh. By someone very special." "And who might that be?" This might be a little hard for him to swallow. Tact was definitely in order. Or I could just blurt it out and watch his expression go from content to disbelief to horror to a bristly, murderous kind of fury. I chose door number two. "He's destined to be with our daughter." Reyes's expression slowly changed from content to disbelief to horror to a bristly, murderous kind of fury. "Oh, hell, no." He shot to his feet. "A Daeva? Are you fucking kidding me?" Just like a dad. "Yes, a Daeva. But I wouldn't dismiss him so offhandedly." He whirled around and scowled. Not really at me. Just in general. "What do you mean?" I pressed one corner of my mouth together in thought. "Okay, you know how I was the grim reaper all of my life, then suddenly I'm also this god from another dimension? And how you're the son of Satan all your life, then suddenly you're a god from this dimension? Who does that? Our lives are so weird. I think that maybe Osh is something else, too." I traced one of the dark lines on his face. "I think there's more than meets the eye. I see greatness in him, Reyes. I see a power beyond our imaginings. I see him giving his life for our daughter." "Oh." He sat back down, satisfied. "As long as he dies in the end.”

DiesDestinyDad
Book:The Curse of Tenth Grave
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“Did you catch the time-of-great-suffering thing?” Her expression softened. “Can you just make sure I’m not around when it happens?” “No can do,” I said, strolling back to my office with a negating wave of my hand. “If I have to suffer, then so does everyone else within a ten-mile radius.” She pursed her lips. “What ever happened to taking one for the team?” “Was never much of a team player.” “Sacrificing yourself for the greater good?” “Not that into human sacrifice.” “Suffering in silence?” I stopped and turned back to her, my eyes narrowing accusingly. “If I have to suffer, I’ll be screaming your name at the top of my lungs the whole time. You’ll be able to hear me all the way to Jersey, mark my words.” - Charley to Cookie”

HumourCharley DavidsonCookie
Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead
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“Since I didn't have a candy wrapper to help me with the bad connection I was about to have, I resorted to using vocal sound effects. When Agent Carson picked up, I started my performance. "Agent... Agent Carson," I said, panting into the phone. "Yes, Charley." She seemed unimpressed, but I wasn't about to stop now. "I--I know who the kshshshshshsh are." "I'm a little busy right now, Davidson. What is a Ksh, and why do I care?" "I'm sorry. My kshshsh... is kshshsh... ing." I repeat. What is a Ksh? And why do I care if it is ksh-ing?" She was a tough one. I knew I should have waited and bought a Butterfinger at the Jug-N-Chug. Those wrappers crakled like Rice Krispies on a Saturday morning. "You aren't listeni--kshshsh." "You're really bad at this." "Bank ro-ksh-ers. I know who they kshshsh." "Charley, if you don't cut this crap out." I hung up and turned off my phone before she could figure out what I was trying not to tell her and call back.”

HumourCharley DavidsonAgent Carson
Book:Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet
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“Gemma Davidson,” she answered, her voice as groggy as I felt. “Where are you?” I asked. “Who is this?” “Elvis.” “What time is it?” “Hammer time?” “Charley.” “Did you text me? Did your car break down?” “No and no. Why are you doing this to me?” She was funny. “Check your cell.” I heard a loud, sleepy sigh, some rustling of sheets, then, “It won’t come on.” “Not at all?” “No. What did you do to it?” “I ate it for breakfast. Check the battery compartment.” “Where the hell is that?” “Um, behind the battery door.” “Are you punking me?” I heard her fumbling with the phone. “Gem, if I was going to punk you, I wouldn't simply turn off your phone. I would pour honey in your hair while you slept. Or, you know, something like that.” “That was you?” she asked, appalled.”

HumourCharley DavidsonDarynda JonesGemma DavidsonThird Grave Dead Ahead
Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead
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“Okay, I'll stop, but if anything happens, just ask yourself, WELSD?" "Mom-" "No, I mean it. anytime you get into a hairy situation, ask yourself: What would Lisbeth Salander do?" She gave her daughter a minute, then prompted her. "Well?" "After a heavy sigh, Auri replied. "She'd stab a bitch." "Exactly. And if that doesn't work?" Another sigh. "She'd set a bitch on fire." Precisely. And if that doesn't work?" "Mom," Auri whined, shifting in her seat. "If that doesn't work?" "Fine. She'd eviscerate a bitch's online presence and get him or her sent to prison for kiddie porn.”

FunnyHumourLisbeth SalanderGirl With The Dragon Tattoo
Book:A Bad Day for Sunshine
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“How old are you, anyway?" "How old are you?" "Seventeen." I raise a brow. "Almost. I'll be seventeen in two weeks. You?" Part of me doesn't want to tell her. She'll be horrified. But part of me wants to know what she will do when she knows the truth. "How old do you think I am?" She lifts a slender shoulder. "At first I thought maybe eighteen, but now I'm thinking at least nineteen. Maybe even twenty?" "why's that?" "You seem very ... experienced." I nod. "You're close. Today's my birthday. I'm thirteen.”

AgeAttraction
Book:Brighter Than the Sun
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“He enchanted. He simply enchanted. Stopping in his tracks when he saw my expression, he studied me a long moment before walking over to me and placing a kiss on my cheek. The act was an excuse to whisper in my ear. "You have to stop looking at me like that if we're going to make it through the day without losing our clothes." I turned to kiss him back. "I have no intention of making it through the day with you fully clothed.”

EnchantedClothed
Book:Eighth Grave After Dark
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“With a deep regret, I wiggled out from under him despite his sleepy protests and grabbed articles of clothing as I tiptoed to his door. What amazing willpower I had. What fantastic self-control. I'd come over for one reason, and everything but that reason seemed to be resolved. When I reached the door, I saw what looked like another note. But this was his door, not mine. I peeled it off, then angled it until I could read it by the light of the fire. Is that all you've got? With a smile spreading slowly across my face, I dropped everything I'd just picked up and went back for more.”

Charley DavidsonReyes FarrowSafe WordSticky Note
Book:Fifth Grave Past the Light
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“You realize that by summoning me here, you signed your own death warrant.” Demons were nothing to take lightly. I’d seen what they were capable of, but I also knew they were no match against the light that shone inside me. “I do,” it said, and I fought to place the language we were speaking. I knew it was ancient. Possibly the first language ever spoken in the universe. “Unless we sign yours first.” “Is that what you think will happen here?” “Dutch,” Reyes said into my ear, “stop playing with your dinner.”

Charley DavidsonReyes Farrow
Book:Seventh Grave and No Body
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“She tore through the wrapping and took out a blue velvet box. She glanced back at me as though unable to believe her eyes. After pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she lifted the lid. Two rolls of cushioned velvet sat inside. The slit that those cushions made should have held a ring, but it didn’t. Sucked to be her. She gaped at me. “What is this?” she asked, appalled. “It’s a simple yes/no question,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. I lay back, crossing my arms behind my head. “When I get an answer, you get the rest of your gift.”

Reyes Farrow
Book:Glow
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“Hey,” the man said, raising his hands in surrender, “I don’t have any issues with you, Farrow. You know that.” “Then we have an understanding, but just in case you’re thinking of somehow repeating history and trying to control me through her,” he said, arching a brow in warning, “do you remember how fast I am? How deadly?” Navarra nodded without hesitation. Reyes leaned toward him and raised his own hand to cover part of his mouth as though telling a secret. “She’s faster.”

Charley DavidsonReyes Farrow
Book:Seventh Grave and No Body
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“Si no vas a decirme dónde estás, si no vas a confiar en mí para ayudarte entonces, ¿por qué estás aquí? ¿Para qué molestarse? Luego de un silencio, en la sala resonó con un suave gruñido, sentí que se iba. Sentí la desaparición de su ausencia en la habitación, el escalofrío recorriendo mi espalda. En una fracción de segundo antes de desaparecer por completo, él pasó junto a mí, y me susurró al oído. “Porque tú eres la razón por la que respiro.”

Love QuotesCharley DavidsonReyes FarrowSexy Men
Book:Second Grave on the Left
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“Hey, wait," I said, pulling back, "you are the son of Satan. Maybe we need a safe word." His grin morphed into something wickedly charming. "Okay, how about, 'Oh, my god, it's so big.'" Laughter burst out of me before I could stop it. Not that it wasn't. "That would be a safe phrase, but okay." I thought about it, then said, "How about 'Is that all you've got?”

Charley DavidsonReyes FarrowSafe Word
Book:Fifth Grave Past the Light
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