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Darynda Jones

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Famous Darynda Jones Quotes

“Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for all the lonely barflies." "I'm a good singer, mom." Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous. I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?" "No," she whispered. "Are you gonna tell her?" "No. It's much funnier this way.”

KnowsWayWantYearsDoeSaidSoundMomDadLonelyMachinesSingersTwelveCookiesAmberYour Dad
Author:Darynda Jones
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“I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking.” “I get it, Swopes. He’s not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom.” I rethought that. “Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?”

ThinkingKnowsMenHumansKindHomeWaitingMinutesInvolvedShipsGet InvolvedHuman TraffickingTraffickingIstanbul
Book:The Charley Davidson Series
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“Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.”

IfsKnowsWellsDoeSaidTwoWantedThreeSittingOkaySpellsStableThree ThingsSitting DownSchizophrenia
Book:Third Grave Dead Ahead
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“You either fainted or you wanted a much closer look at the cracks in the tile. Either way, you hit hard." "Seriously?" He nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have been trying to make out with him," he suggested. How did he know that? "I was kissing him good-bye." He snorted and exchanged glances with the nurse. "That's not what it looked like to me." Probably not. But what happened? Could Reyes Farrow take control over me even from a freaking coma? I was doomed.”

KnowsWayTryingLooksHas BeensHardWantedHappenedKissingCracksNurseDoomedGlancesByeGood ByeMake OutTake ControlComaKissing HimTilesReyes Farrow
Book:The Charley Davidson Series
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“Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.”

IfsKnowsPersonsIdeasWantedTurnsThreeLinesMiddleArmsMomTenSummerRedStandingOkayRateWinterBoxesHeavyStoresScalesNo IdeaBuyingLengthOne TimeWowAmberHeavinessCharley DavidsonTamponsStanding In Line
Book:The Charley Davidson Series
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“Can you find out how owns C and R industries? They bought the old abandoned mental asylum downtown." "That old thing? What are they going to do with it?" "I don't know. I was hoping their overcompensating sign would say, but it just says 'private property' and shouts lots of threats in capital letters, all of which I plan to completely ignore later.”

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Author:Darynda Jones
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