Filter quotes by topic
Famous Eugene Mirman Quotes
“I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.”
“Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?”
“Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.”
“I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.”
“I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.”
“I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.”
“Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.”
“If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.”
“If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.”