The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern...
A source page for quotes linked to Eugene Mirman.
“Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.”
“I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.”
“A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.”
“In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.”
“Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive.”
“I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.”
“Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?”
“You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?”
“Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?”
“On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.”
“You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.”