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Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Television host

Jimmy Fallon, born in September 1974, is an American television host. He is widely recognized for hosting 'The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon', a show known for its interactive and entertaining nature. Fallon is known for his humorous hosting style and engaging interactions with guests.

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All Said President President Obama People Ifs Running Years Knows Clinton Thinking Trump House Jobs New York Want White Today Yesterday Found Men

Famous Jimmy Fallon Quotes

“I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.”

Ifs Men Years Fun If I Could Nashville

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if there's any justice, the minute they're done building it, God will introduce a newer, smaller sun that's not compatible with their machinery.”

Ifs Done Funny Energy Justice Sun Minutes Building Gods Will Apples Farms Introducing Machinery Carolina Compatible North Carolina Solar Energy

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A new study found that students who are taught abstinence end up with better math scores. Of course, if you join the math team, the abstinence takes care of itself.”

Ifs Ends Care Courses Found Study Team Students Taught Mathematics Take Care Math Score Abstinence

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers in Canada say they have discovered the part of the brain that is used to make decisions, and this is weird: If you're married, it's actually located in your wife's brain.”

Ifs Used Decision Brain Marriage Wife Married Canada Researchers

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.”

Ifs Want Feels Believe Said I Can Guy Jokes Awful Stadiums Concessions Christie

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is 'Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American dream.' It's hard to tell if he's running for president or doing an infomercial for Bowflex.”

Ifs Hard Dream Running President Machines Defeat Campaigns American Dream Slogans Infomercials

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, 'Si.'”

Ifs Said Form Race Regret Criticism Voters Hispanic Registration Voter Registration

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he's ever been to Kenya, Obama said, 'Of course. I was born - no, bored - over there. There's nothing to do in Kenya.'”

Ifs Said Courses House President Born White Bored White House President Obama Summit July Kenya

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'”

Ifs Knows Said House President White Wonder Dating Yesterday Experts White House President Obama September Pope Disagreement Contraception Biden

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton used a private email account to conduct official state business. Experts say that if this violates any federal rules, then she . . . will still be president.”

Ifs Stills States Used President Accounts Clinton Experts Officials Email

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in the world could tell him he picked one of the lamest possible superpowers.”

Ifs World Want Said Speak Language President Ability President Obama Superpower Ability To Speak

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A new helicopter service called Gotham Air is now offering users cheap flights from Manhattan to JFK or Newark airports that start at just $99. If there's two words I trust together in the same sentence, it's 'cheap' and 'helicopter.'”

Ifs Two Together Air Sentences Flight Offering Users Airports Manhattan Helicopters Gotham Newark

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing Obama can identify with, it's aging several years over the course of a couple of hours.”

Ifs Years Courses President Hours One Thing Couple Aging Make Sense Interviews President Obama Boyhood

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if you get the feeling he's repeating himself every half hour, that's where he learned it from.”

Ifs Said Feelings President Hours Half Watches Morning Likes President Obama Half Hours Espn

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Jeb Bush's brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'”

Ifs Said Ideas Running Mother President Brother Mom Qualified

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it's drinking mixed with politics.”

Ifs Trying Action Political One Thing Ready Raises Drinking Clinton Glasses Campaigns Selling Holiday Committees Champagne Ornaments Political Action

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Vladimir Putin bribed a soccer official with a Picasso painting so he would support Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Putin was like, 'It wasn't Picasso, just picture of what his face would look like if he said no.' (Nose over here, eye up here, ear in forehead.)”

Ifs World Looks Said Eye Faces Support Painting Ears Russia Cups Soccer Noses Officials Host Putin Foreheads World Cup

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'”

Ifs May Said Ideas House White Acting Secret Security Directors White House Fence Sidewalk Secret Service

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Now that the midterm elections are over, President Obama has invited congressional leaders from both parties to a meeting at the White House tomorrow. When asked if he's nervous, Obama said, 'Oh, I'm not going to be there. I just invited them over. They can figure it out themselves.'”

Ifs Said House President White Party Leader Figures Tomorrow Election Meetings Nervous White House President Obama Invited Midterms Midterm Elections

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Democrats have been doing everything they can to get young people and college students to vote in the midterms. Though if you want students to participate in something, maybe you shouldn't call them midterms.”

People Ifs Want Has Beens Young Students College Vote Democrat College Students Midterms

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Lincoln Chafee, former governor of Rhode Island, announced he's running for president. Before he announced he's running, his wife went on Facebook and asked his staff if they remembered his password. Because if a Facebook password is too hard to remember, the launch codes for the nukes should be a piece of cake.”

Ifs Should Hard Running Remember President Pieces Wife Former Code Remembered Islands Cake Governors Staff Passwords Nukes Rhode Island

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.”

Ifs Knows Said Brain Ice Interviews Cream Flavor Ice Cream Freeze Cain Rocky Road

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump announced that he's running for president. During his speech he told the crowd that if elected he would be 'the greatest jobs president that God ever created.' Then God said, 'Hey, don't drag me into this publicity stunt.'”

Ifs Said Would Be Running Jobs President Trump Speech Crowds Hey Drag Publicity

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump told ABC news that if he had Oprah as a running mate, they could easily win. Although you know who'd definitely win? Oprah WITHOUT Donald Trump.”

Ifs Knows Running Winning Trump News Mates

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In a related story, guys with an accordion will die alone.”

Ifs Thinking Men Stories Guy Dies Found Study Guitar Attractive Related Accordions

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers here in New York created a robot that actually passed a self-awareness test. So if you're keeping score, that's robots: 1, Donald Trump, 0.”

Ifs Self Awareness New York Trump Tests Self Awareness Score Robots Researchers

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“When you were a kid, it [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see him.”

Ifs Knows Home Kids Together Jobs Waiting Car Dad My Dad Excited Ties Coming Home Ibm Wait For Him Briefcases

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“In several speeches and interviews, Donald Trump has brought up his book 'The Art of the Deal,' and said that Obama would have negotiated a better deal with Iran if he had read it. It got even more awkward for Obama when Iran was like, 'It worked for us - you guys got screwed!'”

Ifs Art Said Book Guy Deals Trump Speech Interviews Iran Awkward

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.”

Ifs Would Be Running President Term Promise Reports Presidency Biden

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“New York Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that bans powdered alcohol from the state. So if you live in New York and you're consuming powdered alcohol, your life just somehow got even worse.”

Ifs States New York Bills Alcohol Governors Consuming Bans Andrew

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there's anyone who can relate to the story of a guy trapped in a mansion that's driving him insane, it's Obama.”

Ifs Knows Art Stories Guy President Kings Driving Insane Relate President Obama Trapped Medal Mansions

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said 'Close, but no cigar.'”

Ifs Said Young Internet Claims Clinton Affair Young Women Scandal Rumor Cigar John Kerry

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“North Korea has declared its own time zone that they are calling 'Pyongyang Time,' and set their clocks back half an hour. So if it's say, 11:40 here now in New York, in North Korea it's still 1925.”

Ifs Stills Hours Half New York Calling Clock Zone Korea North Korea Time Zones

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. 'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'”

Ifs Knows Way Said Country Helping Moving Fighting Courses Fun President Promise Yeah Call Me President Obama They Said Isis

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama is launching a new $6 billion space policy that will ultimately take astronauts to Mars. Of course, it's $6 billion and $45 if the astronauts have a carry-on.”

Ifs Courses President Space Policy Billions President Obama Mars Astronaut Launching

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really wanted to get a message to the president, he could have just written it in an email to literally anyone.”

Ifs Men Trying Wanted Political Guy House President White Written Week Messages Paint White House Fence Email Jumping Arrested That Guy Spray Spray Paint

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for a new job, he was like, 'Nah, just browsing.'”

Ifs Years Jobs Three Noble Three Years Ceo New Job Browsing

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.”

Ifs Kind Choices Sports Realizing Team Fans Roots Girlfriend Inspirational Team Sports Fan

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.”

Ifs Years Winning Loses Fans Red Roots Red Lipstick Red Sox Fans

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.”

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.”

Ifs Happened Fats Giants Princess Subway Headphones Leia

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'”

“Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House.”

Ifs Men Way Wells Said House Winning Names White Groups Taught Speech Yesterday Terrorist Rough White House Isis Taught Us Rough Times Terrorist Groups Boko Haram Haram

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.”

People Ifs Want Tvs Internet Want To See You

Author:Jimmy Fallon

About the Author

Born: September 19, 1974
Known for: Television host
Quotes: 398

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