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Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes

Film producer

Woody Allen, born Alan Stewart Konigsberg, is an American film producer, screenwriter, director, and actor. Known for his unique brand of humor and insightful social commentary, he is one of the most influential creators in modern film history. Alan Stewart Konigsberg was born on December 1, 1935, in Brooklyn, New York. His filmography spans a wide range of genres, including comedy, drama, and noir.

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All Ifs Funny People Humorous Thinking Film Witty Humor Knows Want Years Writing Sex Way Life Is Men Feels Two World I Can

Famous Woody Allen Quotes

“Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.”

Funny Lines Wonderful Minutes Return Please Humorous Negative Portions Negotiation Jars Bargaining Cabbage Notary

Book:Mere Anarchy

Source: Mere Anarchy

“Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.”

Way Humor Funny Beauty Cutting Twenties Snaps Mansions Apparitions Olympus

Book:Mere Anarchy

Source: Mere Anarchy

“There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.”

Littles Funny Drug Directors Depression Adversity Witty Cures Medication Prozac Polo Overcoming Depression

Author:Woody Allen

“How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?”

Ifs Doe Stills Humor Funny Science Certain Cease Restaurants Gravity Jackets

Author:Woody Allen

“If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.”

Ifs God Humor Funny Religious Humorous Fanatics Fervor

Book:The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

“Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it."”

God Humor Funny Jobs Lord Glory Humorous Blow Kingdoms Knees Cried Good Job

Book:The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

“Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.”

Believe God Humor Funny Secret Humorous Supreme Skeptic Victoria Supreme Being Catalogues Victoria's Secret

Book:Mere Anarchy

Source: Mere Anarchy

“At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.”

Feelings Funny Conflict Humorous Ill Lawyer Trials Fees Ill Feelings

Book:Mere Anarchy

Source: Mere Anarchy

“Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.”

Ifs Should Funny Names Humorous Letters Should I

Book:Woody Allen: Interviews

Source: Woody Allen: Interviews

“Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.”

Funny Names Lost Poor Humorous Accidents Boat Vowels

Book:Mere Anarchy

Source: Mere Anarchy

About the Author

Born: December 1, 1935
Known for: Film producer
Quotes: 843

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Books & Sources

The Insanity Defense: The Complete ProseRelated source material

Annie Hall: scénario bilingueRelated source material

Mere AnarchyRelated source material

Woody Allen: InterviewsRelated source material

Three Films of Woody AllenRelated source material

Apropos of NothingRelated source material

Deconstructing HarryRelated source material

ManhattanRelated source material

Woody Allen's Play it again, SamRelated source material

Annie HallRelated source material

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