“I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.” IfsYearsTwoPastUsedDrawsGainsWeightTwentiesConclusionUsed To BeCutePoundsTwo YearsMathematicianOver The PastStunningDiagramsReally Cute Author:Zach Galifianakis
“Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.” KindPersonsUsedHateNew YorkI HateUsed To BeJointsBusboys Author:Zach Galifianakis
“My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.” StillsHumorFunnyUsedFatherBeatsBelts Author:Zach Galifianakis
“When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.” PeopleSchoolUsedChoicesHigh SchoolCafeteria Author:Zach Galifianakis
“The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.” ThinkingLongUsedDrinkDown AndDisagreeSenatorsCongressman Author:Zach Galifianakis
