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Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Stand-up comedian

Zach Galifianakis, born on October 1, 1969, is an American comedian known for his distinctive humor and ability to create memorable characters. He has gained widespread recognition for his roles in various television shows and movies.

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Famous Zach Galifianakis Quotes

“I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.”

Ifs Thinking Would Be Laughing Track Intervention

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.”

Ifs Years Two Past Used Draws Gains Weight Twenties Conclusion Used To Be Cute Pounds Two Years Mathematician Over The Past Stunning Diagrams Really Cute

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.”

Ifs Knows Kind Persons Quiet Surprising Junkie Pilates Quiet Person

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.”

Ifs Knows Integrity Patterns Comedic

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.”

Ifs Men Sleep Minutes

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.”

People Ifs Knows I Can Humor Funny Know How Gay Fats Cerebral Cerebral Palsy

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“If you see something, say something.”

Ifs

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“'Baskets' isn't a CBS show. Nothing against that, but this is an off-kilter show on cable that the channel lets you do interesting things. Look, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it's just a miniseries.”

Ifs Looks Shows Interesting Working It Cables Interesting Things Baskets

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.”

Ifs Looks Interesting Angry Clown Woody Sad Clown Woody Allen Movie

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.”

People Ifs Thinking Trying Hard Actors Saws Figures Terrible Shots Including California Desperate Desperation Embarrassing Clueless

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.”

Ifs Knows Mean Freak Blogs Pilates Waffles

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.”

Ifs Lasts Names Goal Changed Being Famous

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'”

Ifs Humor Funny Wonder Spaceships

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.”

People Ifs Should Comedy Limits Standing Great Things Yelling

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.”

Ifs Knows Long Sometimes Helping Hours Concern Tired Kicking Delirium Long Hours

Author:Zach Galifianakis

About the Author

Born: October 1, 1969
Known for: Stand-up comedian
Quotes: 127

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