“I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.” PeopleWantWritingBlackLandHanging OutFarmsColonyCarolinaAcresNorth CarolinaCabinsAll BlackTractorsNudists Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.” PeopleKnowsWantLastsFameStriveIronicPersonal Life Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.” PeopleThinkingMindPersonsRealLosesFrontsLet MePaidReal LifeFrustrationShyMellow Author:Zach Galifianakis
“Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'” PeopleHumorFunnyHateI Hate Author:Zach Galifianakis
“The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.” PeopleWholeLaughingFrontsCamerasMaking People Laugh Author:Zach Galifianakis
“Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?” PeopleShowsHumorFunnyWhiteRace Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.” PeopleShowsHumorRealityWould BeFunnyBlackWhiteFourNeighborhoodHuntsReality ShowsCrackers Author:Zach Galifianakis
“You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.” PeopleIfsKnowsI CanHumorFunnyKnow HowGayFatsCerebralCerebral Palsy Author:Zach Galifianakis
“You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.” PeopleAcceptingMadSupposed To BeTrophiesBeing Mad Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.” PeopleLightCan DoBabyTerribleTreatsGiantsCartoon Author:Zach Galifianakis
“But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.” PeopleComedyStupidAppealsCreedsCarrots Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.” PeopleRealLostPersonalityReal Life Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.” PeopleIfsThinkingTryingHardActorsSawsFiguresTerribleShotsIncludingCaliforniaDesperateDesperationEmbarrassingClueless Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'” PeopleBibleBullshit Author:Zach Galifianakis
“When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.” PeopleSchoolUsedChoicesHigh SchoolCafeteria Author:Zach Galifianakis
“People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.” PeopleWayTryingProveGuilty Author:Zach Galifianakis
“American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.” PeoplePropsAmerican Society Author:Zach Galifianakis
“My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.” PeopleLaughingDadJokesMy Dad Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.” PeopleThinkingKindDoeSeemsPowerfulLaughingComedyToolsMaking People Laugh Author:Zach Galifianakis
“People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.” PeopleTryingMeanReasonStuffLinesDealsTvsInternetWaveGrandmotherAuditionsBasements Author:Zach Galifianakis
“That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.” PeopleIfsShouldComedyLimitsStandingGreat ThingsYelling Author:Zach Galifianakis
“There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.” PeopleThinkingWayActorsStuffExistenceStupidHollywoodDumbLive Your LifeWay To LiveHollywood MoviesMore To LifePublicistsReally Dumb Author:Zach Galifianakis
