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Quote by Rita Rudner

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”

Quote by Rita Rudner

Author

Rita Rudner, born on September 17, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. Her career began in the 1980s, and she gained widespread recognition for her unique sense of humor and witty dialogue. Rudner is known for her performances in television, radio, and on stage, with her work often exploring themes such as women, marriage, and family. more

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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.”

Humor Funny Comedy Office Doctors Medical Ironic Portraits Surgery Cosmetics Plastic Surgery Cosmetic Surgery Plastic Surgeons

Author:Rita Rudner

“Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.”

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“I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.”

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“The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.”

“I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.”

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Author:Rita Rudner

“I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.”

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“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?”

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“There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.”

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Author:Rita Rudner

“I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”

Age Faces Grows Plans Ears Aging Old Age Lifts Retirement Old People Funny Retirement Aging Gracefully Old Jokes Growing Old Gracefully

Book:I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething

Source: I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething