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Bed Quotes

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Bed Quotes

“My dad's been having a hard time lately. Keeps on losing his keys. Can't hang on to a set of keys to save his life. And he has tried everything too: little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed, keychain makes a noise when you whistle. Nothing worked. So finally, this year for his birthday, the whole family chipped in - and we put him in a home.”

YearsLittlesHardWholeHomeNextDoorsKeysDadBedLosingMy DadNoiseHard TimesBowlsHookWhole FamilyHaving A Hard Time
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head.”

YearsTwoStoriesKidsNightFallParentReligiousWeekMiddleWallDadBedGirlfriendPoundsInchesTwo WeeksMy GirlfriendMiddle Of The NightOff The Wall
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“If anything, I believe that when I die, I will have to stand in front of all the children who went to bed hungry while I was on earth and read aloud a list of my eBay purchases. I shudder to think of it. Explaining to a poor child with a swollen belly why I didn't give his village fifty cents a week but spent twenty-seven dollars in a bidding war for a Mars Attacks coffee cup.”

IfsThinkingGivingBelieveChildrenWarEarthDiesI BelievePoorWeekFrontsBedTwentiesDollarsSevenListsCoffeeHungryCupsFiftyVillageCentsMarsBellyExplainingCoffee CupBiddingSwollenEbayPoor Children
Author:Dana Gould
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“Being constructively critical is good, as long as your purpose is to improve your methods for future endeavors. Lying in bed and replaying failures and telling yourself you're stupid is a tremendous disservice to your efforts and what you can offer the world.”

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Book:The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)
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“There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. Men die nightly in their beds, wringing the hands of ghostly confessors, and looking them piteously in the eyes - die with despair of heart and convulsion of throat, on account of the hideousness of mysteries which will not suffer themselves to be revealed. Now and then, alas, the conscience of man takes up a burden so heavy in horror that it can be thrown down only into the grave. And thus the essence of all crime is undivulged.”

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Book:Tales by Edgar Allan Poe
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“Contrary to popular belief, a good number of transvestites-both male and female-are also heterosexual. Just because they want to get dressed up like the opposite sex does not necessarily mean they want to go to bed with the same sex. Some have successful heterosexual marriages & enjoy the most delightful shopping experiences.”

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Book:Ain't nobody's business if you do: the absurdity of consensual crimes in a free society
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“When we got married, we knew our honeymoon was going to be public, anyway, so we decided to use it to make a statement. We sat in bed and talked to reporters for seven days. It was hilarious. In effect, we were doing a commercial for peace on the front page of the papers instead of a commercial for war.”

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Book:The Playboy interviews with John Lennon and Yōko Ono
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“Imagine if for years your habit is to use the phone when you're having a massage on the bed, even one minute before going out to train? For 25 days I accepted this, because my first priority was to work on the field. However, I've said that from now if someone comes inside with a mobile phone, even in their bag, I'll throw it in the North Sea. They're banned.”

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Author:Paolo Di Canio
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“I don't sleep much. Five to six, I'd say. You could argue that people, as they get older, sleep less - probably because they're afraid of dying at some point. I know my parents don't sleep much. I know that I used to be able to sleep until noon when I was younger. I couldn't fathom staying in bed until ten now. I wouldn't know what to do unless there's a football game on.”

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Author:George Clooney
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“I really enjoy touring period! I had another band called Killing Machine, we went out on tour which was only fifteen shows & we went out in a really old motor home. That had to be the most fun. I didn't have to do radio at nine in the morning everyday. It was me & a bunch of friends. The singer was my tattoo artist. My girlfriend would fly in & we would sleep in a hammock above the bed the band were sleeping in [laughs]. I like that stuff that's really fun, I like the camping experience.”

ShowsHomeArtistFunStuffEnjoySleepMorningLaughingPeriodsBedBandMachinesKillingEverydayRadioSingersNineBunchGirlfriendFifteenTattooMotorTouringMy GirlfriendCampingSleeping InHammocks
Author:Tracii Guns
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“If I feel like crying, I'll just cry in a dream. Something I really try not to do in my waking hours. I like good melodrama because it's just an undumping of all these compulsions we feel that we work so hard to master during our waking hours. No wonder we crash to sleep in bed at night. We have to, otherwise we'd just spend our waking hours shredding the feelings from everybody else.”

IfsFeelsTryingHardFeelingsDreamNightHoursSleepWonderCryMastersBedWakingCrashCompulsionMelodramaShredding
Author:Guy Maddin
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“I mean the people who seriously, seriously play devote their lives to it sort of the way monks do. I mean you don't date, you go to bed at a certain time, you eat certain ways, you practice 10-12 hours a day. And I mean, the difference between practicing three hours a day and practicing 12 hours a day is everything. And I certainly never - I never trained seriously after the age of 16.”

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Author:David Foster Wallace
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