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Conversations Quotes

Browse 139 quotes about Conversations.

Conversations Quotes

“As soon as somebody starts talking about times when they felt excluded, betrayed, or wronged, stop and listen. When somebody is talking to you about pain in their life, even in those cases when you may think their pain is performative or exaggerated, it’s best not to try to yank the conversations back to your frame. Your first job is to stay within the other person’s standpoint to more fully understand how the world looks to them. Your next job is to encourage them to go into more depth about what they have just said. “I want to understand your point of view as much as possible. What am I missing here?” Curiosity is the ability to explore something even in stressful and difficult circumstances. Remember that the person who is lower in any power structure than you are has a greater awareness of the situation than you do. A servant knows more about his master than the master knows about the servant. Someone who is being sat on knows a lot about the sitter—the way he shifts his weight and moves—whereas the sitter may not be aware that the sat-on person is even there.”

PainUnderstandingPowerCuriosityBetrayalExclusionConversationsFrame Of ReferenceMarginalizationDiscussions
Book:How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
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“It was difficult to point these folks out, to put them on trial. How could one dislike a nice person? They said all the right things. Some people like David even went to the extent of being self-deprecating. It was a strategy of invulnerability. For example, they might apologetically acknowledge they were “talking too much” or sprinkle phrases like “Ah! I’m so self-absorbed” so as to exclude themselves from any claim of narcissism. Or when they achieved things, they perfectly said they were grateful and honored. Though at home, they hungrily harbored self-interest and greed. People praised their humility and, lacking the patience to notice that tiny bullseye of falseness, called those people humble. All it took for the humble people to be humble was to break the fourth wall of ego. To announce there was a snake in the room allowed them to never be suspected of being a serpent. No one saw the serpent. But one detected when it was there. It bothered a listener quietly. Some blockade prevented Andrei’s soul from resting.”

PhilosophyFriendshipSocietyLonelinessHumilityEgoReflectionStrangersConversationsLone Wolf
Book:A Happy Ghost
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“The only man alive to see it, though, was a wealthy recluse and neurotic, so beset by the embarrassments of society that he had withdrawn from it entirely. For him, every conversation, every transaction, down to the briefest and most businesslike, had become yet another occasion for injury. Those countless social encounters, with their countless tiny cuts--cuts inflicted, cuts received, and the one just as painful to remember as the other. Those smiles preceded by telltale pauses. Those favors both sexual and financial. Those what-do-you-thinks and let-me-borrow-you-for-a-seconds. It had all been too much for him, too freighted with need and misunderstanding....”

RelationshipsSocietyLonelinessSolitudeBeing AloneConversationsInteractionsHuman Interaction
Book:The Ghost Variations: One Hundred Stories
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“The wide-eyed professor lectured, on the verge of tears, and when class ended, the students closed their notebooks shut and asked of her plans for the weekend, which was answered politely, but with a tinge of sadness, for the professor feared her personhood, which had in her lesson plan existed truly only minutes ago, was already being reduced to the small, meaningless matters of tomorrow.”

SocietyLonelinessIdentityMeaningUnseenThe Goodbye SongUnheardConversationsPersonhood
Book:The Goodbye Song
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“Većinu onoga što smo kroz godine shvatili u životu naučili smo interakcijom s različitim i često provokativnim mišljenjima, susretom s dotad nam nepoznatim informacijama, kritičkim primjedbama i znanjem, koje smo zatim interno obradili uzgajajući sjemenke razgovora, čitanja i promatranja u spoznaju.”

LifeReadingConversationsžIvotčItanjeSpoznajaCongnitionRazgovori
Book:How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division
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“One day, it will all make sense, it will all be revealed. Until then, we learn to live and accept our shadows, our Déjà vu's, our dreams, our intuition that takes us to places that our minds never conceived, our bodies only perceived and our souls gladly remembered. Conversations and experiences amuse me, for I am experimenting with my feelings in ways that I can only do down here. Language makes up for a very interesting, yet bizarre way of putting thoughts into spoken form for the sound to move on in other peoples' ears, but every language, every sound, every word carries with it a long history, a deep culture and the souls of the many people who have previously used it throughout the centuries. Our hearts give us direction, hope and the passion to keep moving forward.. But what we do when they're frozen, broken, torn apart by an unhealthy way of living is what gives us new strength to push forward or kills us completely. Deep inside, we feed the entities that empower the fight between our internal demons and angels. We feed them with our thoughts, our emotions, our self-talk and the external talk that we lower our shields to at times. Whether good or bad, this brings about a change internally and at times there isn't much we can do to protect ourselves. At times, we need to let things be and go along with it. Of course, we're all worried, stressed, confused and lacking direction at times and we're in the same way at peace, stable and walking in the right direction once we get things sorted. Give it some time, give it some light, give it some love. You're not very far away.”

PeopleWayLoveSoulFeelingsLightMovingTimeCulturePassionHopeLanguagePeaceSoundInterestingHistoryDreamsBrokenWalkingLivingThoughtsShadowEarsIntuitionLiveDeepLearnStableDayAngelsBizarreFrozenDemonsWordSoulsExperiencesUnhealthyHeartsDirectionShadowsSenseMoveAcceptMakeInsideConversationsPlacesBodiesMindsForwardFeedTorn ApartDeja VuRevealedCenturiesExperimentingSpokenKillsAmusePerceivedConceivedEmotonsEntititesRememberd
Author:Virgil Kalyana Mittata Iordache
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“Some of those who say they are worried about erasing history are really objecting to decisions about monuments being taken down by a small group of people, whether protesters or officials. Ideally, communities as a whole should decide, but you cannot impose this as a requirement without the existence of a real process for having these conversations. Today, what we are truly in danger of losing is not history but rather the chance to use monuments, whether fallen or still standing, as paths to get to a better future”

GovernmentProcessDebateDecisionsAmerican HistoryStatuesConversationsMonumentsParticipatory Democracy
Book:Smashing Statues: The Rise and Fall of America's Public Monuments
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“The second crucial thing I learned, especially from the authors of Crucial Conversations, is that every conversation takes place on two levels: the official conversation and the actual conversation. The official conversation is represented by the words we say about whatever topic we are nominally discussing: politics, economics, workplace issues—whatever. The actual conversation occurs in the ebb and flow of underlying emotions that get transmitted as we talk. With every comment you are either making me feel a little more safe or a little more threatened. With every comment I am showing you either respect or disrespect. With every comment we are each revealing something about our intentions: Here is why I am telling you this. Here is why this is important to me. It is the volley of these underlying emotions that will determine the success or failure of the conversation.”

EmotionsSafetyTopicsConversationsIntentionsThreatsDiscussionsEmotional SafetyCrucial Conversations
Book:How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
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“Reaching out to individuals of different ideological persuasions and starting a dialogue with them demanded then (and still requires today) a particular form of courage and fortitude that not everyone has. It also presupposes a particular style of discourse that avoids making reproaches and tirades against alleged 'scoundrels' and traitors with whom no dialogue is conceivable. 'I learned to respect other people's ideas,' [Norberto] Bobbio confessed, 'to pause before the secret of every conscience, to understand before arguing, and to argue before condemning.' He had always been a person 'more interested in dialogue than conflict' and loathed extremist or intransigent positions on all sides.”

PoliticsDebateDialogueOpennessOpen MindednessConversationsPublic DiscourseTalking About Politics
Book:Faces of Moderation: The Art of Balance in an Age of Extremes
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“When you said goodbye earlier, I wish there had been something more. It's too sharp of a turn. Endings are jarring. It doesn’t make any sense. 'Goodbyes' are the oldest thieves around. Because they steal all the credit of a moment. All the good out of a conversation. The lasting impression of goodbyes makes it seem as if no party ever cared to begin with. You know?”

SocietyTelling The TruthFarewellDissatisfactionThe Goodbye SongEndingsAwkwardnessConversationsGoodbyesLeaving Someone
Book:The Goodbye Song
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“Most smart people tend to feel queasy when the conversation turns to things like "certain death" and "total failure" and the idea of a "doomed generation." But not me. I am comfortable with these themes. There is nothing new about them, except when they come all at once. Any conversation that can make smart people confront a mix of Death, Doom, and Failure with a straight face is probably worth listening in on. They don't come around real often, and when they do it almost always means that at least two of the people doing the talking are in very serious trouble.”

DeathFailureDoomSocial NormsConversations
Book:Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the '80's
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“Once you’re on equal footing, it’s important to listen to and consider the other person’s point of view. Research shows that we often exaggerate how extreme our opponents are. “Somebody says something and we all of a sudden create this whole construct about who they are as a person and what type of intention they have, and then we proceed as if that’s true,” said Julia Minson, an associate professor at Harvard Kennedy School. “That automatically sets up the adversarial environment in which someone has to lose.” She explains that it’s important to learn more about the other person’s actual intent, rather than filing it in with your own assumptions.”

ConversationExtremismBack And ForthAssumptionsConversationsPerceptionsExaggerations
Author:Evelyn Nam
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“Hope is not always an organic emotion. Sometimes we have to consciously find it and consciously summon it. And, yes, there are big challenges right now. Maybe those challenges are insurmountable. Maybe we will be, because of social media, incapable of restoring our capacity to have a national dialogue. Maybe because of the culture that we live in right now, we will no longer be able to have conversations across disagreement. Maybe because of unchecked wealth and corporate power, we won’t be able to conquer climate change. The list goes on. Maybe. But we would be the first generation of Americans to give up on this country, and we would be the first generation of Americans who were unable to find the path forward. And I just don’t believe that we are. And I certainly believe that we don’t have to be.”

AmericaHopeChallengesDialoguePersistenceDivisionAmericansConversationsPolarization
Author:Sarah McBride
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“The fatal misconception behind brainstorming is that there is a particular script we should all follow in group interactions.... [W]hen the composition of the group is right—enough people with different perspectives running into one another in unpredictable ways—the group dynamic will take care of itself. All these errant discussions add up. In fact, they may even be the most essential part of the creative process. Although such conversations will occasionally be unpleasant—not everyone is always in the mood for small talk or criticism—that doesn’t mean that they can be avoided. The most creative spaces are those which hurl us together. It is the human friction that makes the sparks.”

CreativityGroupsFrictionConversationsUnpredictabilityBrainstormingPerspectivesDiscussionsGroup Dynamics
Author:Jonah Lehrer
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“It’s even more awkward when we’re face to face with people. It used to be exciting to make plans with friends because you could sit and catch up and talk about what’s been going on in your lives. Now when you see someone there’s nothing left to say. You’ve already seen the pictures from their trip to Rio on Facebook. You’ve read their tweets about the latest diet they’re on. And they already texted you about the pregnancy scare. So you end up just sitting and staring at each other until you both start texting other people.”

FriendshipSocial MediaAwkwardConversationsAwkward Silence
Author:Ellen DeGeneres
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“She spoke loudly in order to be heard above the noise of personal communitainers that were thudding and banging all around them. Some people used earphones, some didn't, clearly believing that as many people as possible should be given the opportunity to appreciate their musical taste. That, combined with the mass leakage from the headsets, created a terrible din and even discreet private conversations had to be conducted at a yell.”

HeardConversationsMusical TasteYellCommunitainersEarphonesThudding
Book:Blind Faith
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“An employee wanders into work late, something you’ve been meaning to talk to them about, so you say, “Late again, eh?” and leave it at that. Or you visit your son for the weekend, notice the empty beer bottles in the garbage, and say, “I see you’re still drinking up a storm.” These comments are intended to help. You hope your employee or your son will take the message to heart. But while your comments may help you feel a bit better (“At least I’ve said something”), they make the other person defensive and frustrated, which is unlikely to produce the kind of change you had in mind. A good rule to follow is: If you’re going to talk, talk. Really talk.”

Caring For OthersConversationsExpressing EmotionsDifficult ConversationsExpressing Thoughts
Book:Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
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“Because in the great majority of cases, the reason the other person is not listening to you is not because they are stubborn, but because they don’t feel heard. In other words, they aren’t listening to you for the same reason you aren’t listening to them: they think you are slow or stubborn. So they repeat themselves, find new ways to say things, talk more loudly, and so forth.”

Understanding OthersArgumentsConversationsExpressing YourselfDifficult Conversations
Book:Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
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“Feyre,' he said, reaching for me, but I stepped out of range. 'Why do you need to know these things? Is it not enough for you to recover in peace? You earned that for yourself. You earned it. I relaxed the number of sentries here; I've been trying... trying to be better about it. So leave the rest of it-' He took a steadying breath. 'This isn't the time for this conversation.' It was never the time for this conversation, or that conversation. But I didn't say it. I didn't have the energy to say it, and the words dried up and blew away. So I memorised the lines of Tamlin's face, and didn't fight him as he pulled me to his chest and held me tightly.”

TryingTraumaSarah J MaasFeyreFeyre ArcheronA Court Of Mist And FuryTamlinConversationsCondescendingNever The Time
Book:A Court of Mist and Fury
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“A particular team of world leading male astronomers that I regularly worked with engaged in extensive sordid conversations about their female counterparts that I had not witnessed in the many other astronomy teams. It was unique to their group. What was also unique to their group was the intensive all night long computer work. It was so intense that getting rest room breaks during the night was always a problem.”

AstronomyOshaAltitudeMaunaKeaTmtComputersConversationsSordidIntensive
Author:Steven Magee
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