“A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.” TwoHumorFunnyHairAppearanceBrushesHaircutsBaldness Author:William Hazlitt
“People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"” PeopleLongUseHumorFunnyMotherGuyFoundWishHairDrugDaughterLongingExcitedExtremesStrangerSmellCakeAssociatesThat GuyLong HairFlourDrug Use Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have an oscillating fan at my house. It goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to! Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? LIAR! My fan lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you're not saying ANYTHING!” LooksHumorFunnyOrderAsksHouseFansHairSettingSettingsLiarsDocumentsLiedPinsBack And ForthSaying NoLied To MePin Up Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.” ThinkingYearsHumorFunnyHairBaseballBobCurlsRandyFrisbee Author:Jerry Coleman
“I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.” HumorFunnyMy OwnToo MuchCuttingHairSickComing OutBarbers Author:Robert Frost
“He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better.” IfsKnowsMenWayWritingFirstsFeelingsHumorHandsBigsFunnyBeliefEmotionTalkingMinutesDyingHairPeriodsFemaleBallsProfoundBad ThingsMaking UpLove For HerWriting PoemsPersonal BeliefsBig HairProfound Love Author:Chelsea Handler
“Most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.” PeopleThinkingFeelsHumorFunnyMovingDiesSidesLosesHairCancerAbout YourselfDisagreeStrokesChemotherapyRemissionLife Sucks Author:Denis Leary
“I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.” PeopleI CanHumorFunnyHairRelaxCeilingsPubic Hair Author:Dylan Moran
“I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.” FeelsI CanTwoBodyHumorFunnyHurtHairSmokeLungsButtocks Author:Dylan Moran
“I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.” I CanHumorFunnyWifeHairAtticsCobwebs Author:Tommy Cooper
“When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.” LooksLittlesHumorKidsWantedFunnyFacesHairGrewGrew UpLittle Kid Author:Noel Fielding