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Humor Quotes

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Humor Quotes

“I've got a reason for running. I talk about a larger goal, which is to call upon the best of America. It's part of the renewal. It's reform and renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high standards and to remind people that the greatness of America really does depend on neighbors helping neighbors and children finding mentors. I worry. I'm very worried about, you know, the kid who just wonders whether America is meant for him. I really worry about that.”

PeopleKnowsChildrenDoeReasonHelpingHumorRunningKidsAmericaPoliticalGoalWonderWorryGreatnessDependsFindingsStandardsNeighborReformWorriedMentorRenewalPolitical HumorHigh StandardsGreatness Of America
Author:George W. Bush
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“And uh, so, I'm running for a reason. I'm answering this question here and the answer is, you cannot lead America to a positive tomorrow with revenge on one's mind. Revenge is so incredibly negative. And so to answer your question, I'm going to win because people sense my heart, know my sense of optimism and know where I want to lead the country. And I tease people by saying, "A leader, you can't say, follow me the world is going to be worse." I'm an optimistic person. I'm an inherently content person.”

PeopleKnowsWorldWantMindHeartPersonsCountryReasonHumorRunningAmericaPoliticalWinningAnswersLeaderTomorrowMy HeartNegativeOptimismRevengeOptimisticTeaseFollow MePolitical HumorOptimistic Person
Author:George W. Bush
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“The reason we'd stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom. Whoever was charged with making the announcement momentarily lost all sense of procedure and we got this tantalizing glimpse into the chaos on the trains, and all we could hear was (bangs on microphone) "Gary, it's burning, what we gonna do?!" And everyone on the carriage just cheered, "Hooray! We're rubbish!"”

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Author:Bill Bailey
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“You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."”

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Author:Jim Gaffigan
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