“It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.” MenLooksImportantHumorYoungPoliticalLife IsQualityShotsMen And WomenBlockYoung ManQuality Of LifePolitical HumorNebraska Author:George W. Bush
“That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired.” PeopleFirstsHumorPoliticalReadyShotsPolitical HumorFoxholes Author:George W. Bush
“You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.” ShouldHumorFunnyFacesNiceGunShotsDimples Author:Mitch Hedberg
“This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard. The mailman will get shot, the envelope will not seal, the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. The final payment must be made in wampum.” MadeHardHumorFunnyThreeEasyFourTvsProductsShotsFinalsAvailableComplicatedStampsPaymentSealsEnvelopesDenominationsMailman Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."” IfsRealHumorFunnyShotsCriminalsThanksHammocks Author:Mitch Hedberg
“There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.” HardHumorFunnyShotsBaseball Author:Jerry Coleman
“There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.” HumorFunnyShotsBaseballFoulAlleys Author:Jerry Coleman
“I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.” ThinkingLongHumorFunnyBitsShotsPropertyCirclesTricksCropsWheatSpaceshipsCorrespondingLong ShotsVelcro Author:Bill Bailey
“And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! "I believe you have my property!"” IfsBelieveHumorFunnyI BelieveTakenShotsDoctorsPropertyBullets Author:Chris Rock
“Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.” PeopleHumorTodayFunnyShotsPeterStarbucksAnnouncements Author:Denis Leary
“You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!” PeopleMenHas BeensHumorFunnySexFireShotsHeadacheX MenInfantile Author:Dylan Moran
“I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"” WantKindHardHumorFunnyWaterDrinkShotsYeahGlassesEightEmsI Am Single Author:Jim Gaffigan