“I have always employed humor, and I think it’s absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only free emotion. I mean, you can compel fear, as we know. You can compel love, actually, if somebody is isolated and dependent — it’s like the Stockholm syndrome. But you can’t compel laughter. It happens when two things come together and make a third unexpectedly. It happens when you learn something, too.” KnowsMeanTwoHumorHappensTogetherEmotionLaughterThirdsTwo ThingsLove Actually Author:Gloria Steinem
“Ghetto humor is the social twin of fantasy; together they sustain the powerless, who accomplish miracles through illusion.” HumorTogetherSocialFantasyIllusionMiracleAccomplishTwinsPowerlessGhetto Book:Norma Jean, the termite queen Source: Norma Jean, the termite queen
“Together, we will reclaim America's schools, before ignorance and apathy claim more young lives.” HumorSchoolTogetherAmericaYoungPoliticalIgnoranceClaimsApathyPolitical HumorYoung Life Author:George W. Bush
“Most of you probably didn't know that I have a new book out. Some guy put together a collection of my wit and wisdom - or, as he calls it, my accidental wit and wisdom. But I'm kind of proud that my words are already in book form.” KnowsKindBookHumorTogetherFormPoliticalGuyProudWitCollectionsPolitical HumorNew BooksWit And Wisdom Author:George W. Bush
“So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.” PeopleWellsHumorTogetherPoliticalGreaterUnitsCongratulationsBehalfPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.” WholeHumorFunnyTogetherComedyJokesBunchLet It GoMicrophonesCords Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I saw a lady on TV, she was born without arms. That's sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't'." That, to me, is even worse in a way. Not only is she missing arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's easy, Lola - you just take two words, put them together, take out the middle letters, put in a comma, and you raise it up!” KnowsWayDoeSaidTwoHumorFunnyTogetherEasyBornSimpleSawsMiddleMissingTvsArmsLettersRaisesThey SaidContractions Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", but then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".” IfsKnowsShouldHumorFunnyTogetherCuttingArmsTypeCornCorn On The Cob Author:Mitch Hedberg
“When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.” MenHumorFunnyTogetherSportsFourGet Together Author:Rita Rudner
“That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.” WorldDifferentHumorFunnyTogetherBeliefReligiousGolfFolksNaziPersecutionHumiliationGoing To WorkBeardTalibanIntellectualismFolk MusicEthosSubjugationRougeReligious PersecutionDifferent BeliefsKhmer Rouge Author:Bill Bailey
“[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.” HumorFunnyTogetherGrowsWatchesLimitsYeahWarmBlanketTelescopesCometsTime LimitHalley's Comet Author:David Cross
“Then I will tape the sets and even though I`m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.” TryingSometimesHumorFunnyTogetherSuccessfulCuttingJokesFatsTape Author:David Cross
“I like "Rock, Paper, Scissors Two-Thirds." You know. "Rock breaks scissors." "These scissors are bent. They're destroyed. I can't cut stuff. So I lose." "Scissors cuts paper." "These are strips. This is not even paper. It's gonna take me forever to put this back together." "Paper covers rock." "Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks." There should be "Rock, Dynamite with a Cutable Wick, Scissors."” KnowsShouldI CanTwoHumorFunnyTogetherStuffLosesBreakForeverCuttingRocksFinePaperThirdsDestroyedDamageTake MeBentBreak ThroughBack TogetherDynamiteScissors Author:Demetri Martin
“I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!” KnowsHumorFunnyTogetherHeardScarBeesWristsBack TogetherTogether AgainBack Together AgainGetting Back TogetherBee Gees Author:Denis Leary
“At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.” MenFirstsHumorFunnyTogetherWifeFirst TimeHopefullyAwardsJenniferGrammy Author:Tina Fey
“As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'” ThinkingFeelsSoulHumorFunnyTogetherPastSleepBabyBedMouthsDiedYeahLaysComing OutBizarreDeprivationPast LifeSleep Deprivation Author:Adam Ferrara