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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.”

“The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.”

Ifs Way Political Politics Prayer Party Lord Clear Ought Republican Humorous Asking Democrat Bless Conventions Republican Party Carrying On

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”

Ifs Children Running Kids Funny Asks Laughter Humorous Asking Parenting Silly Sentimental Bedtime Errands Asking For Help

Author:Red Skelton

“Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.”

Giving Blood Source Politician Giving Up Humorous Asking Sarcastic Forsake

Author:Cal Thomas

“We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.”

Source: The Complete Sherlock Holmes: All 56 Stories & 4 Novels

“Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field of artificial falcon insemination, and could these developments be used to improve the American electoral process?'”

Used Process Written Fields Development Humorous Asking Profound Following Insane Artificial Advancement Dave Falcon Electoral Process

Author:Dave Barry

“To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.”

May Funny Acting Humorous Theater Asking Theatre Insane Comparison Application Admitting Asylums Admission Insane Asylum

Book:Audition: Everything an Actor Needs to Know to Get the Part

Source: Audition: Everything an Actor Needs to Know to Get the Part

“Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’”

Years Said Funny Lasts Money Plans Mets Six Humorous Asking Entrepreneur Investment Investing Financial Saved Planning Mentor Saving Money Financial Independence

Author:Jim Rohn