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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information you need is in the others.”

Needs Three Given Information Humorous Units Shelves Items Documentation

Author:Raymond Simard

“My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.”

“Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.”

Humor Funny Speak Given Pleasure Drink Humorous Wine Drinking Alcohol Drunk Bottles Fifteen Whiskey Liquor Drinking Whiskey Whiskey Drinking Whiskey And Love

Book:Ernest Hemingway Selected Letters 1917-1961

Source: Ernest Hemingway Selected Letters 1917-1961

“Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.”

Source: The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig

“If a person wants to be atheistic it's his God-given right to be an atheist.”

Ifs Want Persons Given Humorous Profound Atheist Insane Atheistic

Author:Mike Patton

“When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him.”

Men Way Problem Moving Next Given Answers Attitude Humorous Shots Definite Next Move

Author:R. A. Lafferty

“Nearly everyone will lie to you, given the right circumstances.”

Lying Given Stupid Circumstances Humorous

Author:William J. Clinton

“I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.”

Ifs Thinking Humor Wanted Funny Given Church Behinds Humorous Bigger

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell