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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon, there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday.”

Thinking Knows Years Would Be Next Morning Kings Periods Humorous Years Ago Unhappy Afternoon Monday Friday Gloomy Tuesday Wednesday So Sad Friday Afternoon Tuesday Morning

Author:Walt Kelly

“He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.”

Ifs Play Kings Humorous Aces

Author:John Mason Brown

“Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.”

Heart Ends Hands Would Be Funny Games Missing Kings Humorous Forgotten Clubs Graves Honour Diamond Justification Sigh Countenance Spades Aces

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.”

Funny Passion Kings Humorous Prerogative

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

“Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.”

Thinking Said Facts Political Politics Wish Subjects Kings Republican Humorous Tests Democrat Making Money Bob Larry Viagra

Author:Jay Leno

“While Europe's eye is fix'd on mighty things, The fate of empires and the fall of kings; While quacks of State must each produce his plan, And even children lisp the Rights of Man; Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention, The Rights of Woman merit some attention.”

Source: The Poetical Works of Robert Burns. To which are Now Added, Notes Illustrating Historical, Personal, and Local Allusions. [The Editor's Preface Signed: R. C., I.e. Robert Chambers.]

“He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.”

Source: The Pictorial Edition of the Works of Shakspere: Comedies / ... Shakspere