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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive.”

Men Funny Known Humorous Noise Expensive Opera

Author:Moliere

“The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?”

Should Firsts Looks Funny Party Known Humorous Witty Contracts Quarrels

Book:The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx

Source: The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx

“Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life”

“Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?”

Knows Firsts Littles Facts Three Known Principles Bird Humorous Wings Fingers Educated Atmosphere Sarcasm Bats Anatomy Membranes Zoology

Book:The Lost World and Other Stories

Source: The Lost World and Other Stories

“Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.”

Has Beens Known Cases Impossible Disease Humorous Medical Cures Symptoms Researchers

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.”

Should Years Two States Funny America Language Decision United Known United States Humorous Hundred Years Ago Decided

Author:George Mikes

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”

Men Love Humor Funny Women Known History Humorous Witty Mice Funny Love Mickey Disney Company Humorous Love Hilarious Love Magic Kingdom Minnie Mouse

Author:Walt Disney

“The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the lamest, wimpiest beer in the entire known world. All the other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and we are drinking Barry Manilow.”

World States Funny America Nations United Known United States Sweet Taste Humorous Drinking Beer Rays Lacking

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.”

Doe States Fall United Known United States Tree Humorous Britain Canada Flats Lions Bites Eagles Beavers Testicles Rodents Canada Day Canada Funny Happy Canada Day Canada Being Great

Book:Portrait of Canada

Source: Portrait of Canada