Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to _ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!”

Fields Higher Humorous Endless Chains Planes Fairy

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports, which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the world.”

World Support Four Design Humorous Essence Tables Legs Surface Planes Laboratory Vertical Horizontal

Author:Michael Frayn

“If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?”

Ifs Made Whole Funny Stuff Black Humorous Boxes Witty Flight Planes Sarcastic Airplane Crash Recorders Plane Crashes Black Boxes

Author:George Carlin

“I don't mind flying. I always pass out before the plane leaves the ground.”

Mind Humorous Flying Planes Aviation Airline Air Travel

Author:Naomi Campbell

“As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."”

Ifs Said Stories Humor Funny Past Worry Food Type Humorous Window Planes Sat Bob Jet Airline Obsolete Aircraft Colonels Air Travel Swapping

Author:Bob Hope

“If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.”

Ifs Humor Might Funny Jobs Causes Security Missing Food Humorous Saving Planes Airline Personnel Air Travel Saving Your Life

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.”

Ifs Hard Humor Funny Hate Food Late Humorous Terrorist Flight Planes Meals Beaten Crowded Airline Passengers Noisy Air Travel

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?”

Giving Loses Humorous Give Me Planes Nails Airline Air Travel

Author:Robin Williams