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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim.'”

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”

Source: The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy

“One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was able to be humorous and then very serious. And the impeachment page is certainly the best example of that. I didn't have to think too much about how to present this one. I got the idea right away that a good way of showing the shame of President Nixon would be to put him down in the shadows under the Lincoln Monument, with Lincoln sort of glaring down at him from an elevated, better-lit position.”

Thinking Book President Serious Glory Humorous Shadow Shame Monument President Nixon

Author:David Small

“Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Writing Book War Humor Would Be Today Funny President Alive Humour Humorous Historical Memoir Civil War Abraham Coffins History Books

Author:David Letterman

“In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.”

Funny America Political Politics President Risk Humorous Witty

Author:Adlai E. Stevenson

“I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.”

Ifs Use Funny America Jesus President Christ Humorous Jesus Christ Wicked World

Author:Charlie Chaplin

“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”

People Problem Humor Funny America Political President Stupid Humorous Witty Sarcastic Stupid People

Author:George Carlin

“I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently.”

Running President Stupid Humorous More Time Texas

Book:Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: William J. Clinton, 1995

Source: Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: William J. Clinton, 1995

“If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people, he should resign.”

People Ifs Should States President United United States Stupid Humorous Presidency Lied

Author:William J. Clinton

“If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Want Mean Kids School President Humorous

Author:Walt Kelly

“The President's very shrewd”

President Stupid Humorous

Author:Sam Donaldson

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”