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Shame Quotes

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Shame Quotes

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“...how little our side of the industry did to move its business to the more ethical firms and to make a fuss about conflicted or unethical behavior. Had a number of us moved our business, we might have slowed or even stopped the 30-year slide in conflicted, unethical behavior that we have experienced. I, for one, regret the modest nature of our moves. We all could have done more. We have tolerated a pretty nasty decline in standards. Shame on us.”

Years Littles Done Might Moving Sides Numbers Regret Industry Behavior Standards Shame Moved Firm Ethical Decline Nasty Modest Slides Unethical

Author:Jeremy Grantham

“I'm of the old-fashioned opinion that shame can be used for all sorts of good in society. An example of this is smoking: When someone lights up around a crowd, people now usually say something. So I don't understand why it's not OK to apply the same logic to other behaviors.”

People Light Used Opinion Example Behavior Logic Shame Crowds Smoking Old Fashioned Light Up

Author:Keli Goff

“We all have unresolved shame, because it is used as a tool to control behavior.”

Used Behavior Tools Shame

Author:Christiane Northrup

“I think that's the real shame: We spent the last 48 hours talking about these disgusting, disgusting comments and disgusting behavior instead of talking about hurricane relief or what's going on in Flint, Michigan. It's just appalling to have to be dealing with such nonsense and such disgusting, you know, criminal speech.”

Thinking Knows Real Lasts Hours Talking Speech Behavior Shame Criminals Relief Nonsense Comment Disgusting Hurricanes Michigan 48 Hours

Author:Natalie Portman

“Reproach is shame, blame, disgrace, disapproval and a disrespectful attitude toward yourself. When you're under reproach, your behavior shows it.”

Shows Attitude Behavior Shame Blame Disgrace Reproach Disrespectful Disapproval

Author:Joyce Meyer

“If only shame were a reliable engine for behavior modification. All it does is make me feel bad, which inspires me to bust open a bag of cheese popcorn, which then makes me feel crappy about my weight.”

Ifs Feels Doe Inspire Behavior Weight Shame Bags Engines Cheese Popcorn Modification Behavior Modification

Author:Ayelet Waldman

“I could not but wonder at the queen's unprecedented civility, until I realized with a flush of shame that it was my own improved behavior that motivated hers. So it is that we in life determine our own treatment.”

My Own Wonder Behavior Shame Determine I Realized Queens Treatment Motivated Civility Unprecedented

Author:Catherine Gilbert Murdock

“... there is no shame in not knowing. The problem arises when irrational thought and attendant behavior fill the vacuum left by ignorance.”

Problem Left Knowing Ignorance Behavior Shame Arise Not Knowing Irrational Vacuums Mind Blowing

Book:The Sky is Not the Limit: Adventures of an Urban Astrophysicist

Source: The Sky is Not the Limit: Adventures of an Urban Astrophysicist

“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”

People Behavior Shame Belittle

Book:I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from

Source: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from

“When we evaluate the rightness or wrongness of actions or behavior, we need to ask ourselves if that behavior will edify—build up—ourselves or someone else, or if it will tear down. The question is not what we can get away with, but what is healthy and edifying. When it is all said and done, are we edified spiritually? Have we been built up and strengthened in our relationship with the Lord or with our spouse, or have we been weakened? Do we come away encouraged or discouraged, confident or filled with a sense of guilt or shame? Is our conscience clean?”

Source: The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage

“Alterations in regulation of affect (emotion) and impulse: Almost all people who are seriously traumatized have problems in tolerating and regulating their emotions and surges or impulses. However, those with complex PTSD and dissociative disorders tend to have more difficulties than those with PTSD because disruptions in early development have inhibited their ability to regulate themselves. The fact that you have a dissociative organization of your personality makes you highly vulnerable to rapid and unexpected changes in emotions and sudden impulses. Various parts of the personality intrude on each other either through passive influence or switching when your under stress, resulting in dysregulation. Merely having an emotion, such as anger, may evoke other parts of you to feel fear or shame, and to engage in impulsive behaviors to stop avoid the feelings.”

Source: Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists

“Changes in Meaning: Finally, chronically traumatized people lose faith that good things can happen and people can be kind and trustworthy. They feel hopeless, often believing that the future will be as bad as the past, or that they will not live long enough to experience a good future. People who have a dissociative disorder may have different meanings in various dissociative parts. Some parts may be relatively balanced in their worldview, others may be despairing, believing the world to be a completely negative, dangerous place, while other parts might maintain an unrealistic optimistic outlook on life”

Source: Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists